I asked David Crosby about Titus Andronicus. What happened next might surprise you.

Croz, left, and Patrick Stickles of Titus Andronicus

Croz, left, and Patrick Stickles of Titus Andronicus Richard Shotwell/AP; Merge Records

Wednesday was weird.  

It was a quiet day at City Pages HQ, and my web editing duties had slowed to a trickle, so I decided to bullshit with Keith Harris, the CP music editor. Keith asked if I'd ever checked out the Twitter presence of classic rock legend David Crosby. I had not. 

Turns out it's a hilarious delight, the head-scratchingly prolific musings of a badass rock 'n' roll curmudgeon with surplus hot takes -- punk is "dumb," rap is "90 percent" garbage, and Trump's an "asshole," according to the Croz. He'll size up just about anything, provided some yahoo tweets at him about it. Eager to utilize this newfound resource, this yahoo blasted out the following tweet: 

Titus Andronicus -- a sky-reaching, emotionally charged punk group from New Jersey -- are probably my favorite contemporary band, and, honestly, the first act that popped into my head as I applied exactly four seconds of thought to my tweet.

Much to my surprise, Crosby, 76, responded almost immediately. Croz, who, for some reason, had spent much of the afternoon rehashing his Neil Young beef with Twitter followers, did not enjoy "A More Perfect Union," the 2010 battle-cry punk epic from Titus I sent his way.


Damn! Savage. 

Spin and 89.3 the Current seized on Crosby's shit-talking, as did Titus frontman Patrick Stickles, who, as chance would have it, had sent an unrequited tweet to the Croz days earlier. 

When Titus fans clapped back, Crosby doubled down: 

Hours later, a seemingly dejected Stickles mulled retirement, tweeting "Maybe David Crosby is right and Titus Andronicus should just give up ..." and, seconds later, "... but, then again ..."

He then launched into the announcement of Titus' forthcoming fifth album, A Productive Cough, due out March 2 on Merge Records. The Crosby fake-out also afforded Stickles, 32, the opportunity to tease the LP's lead single, "Number One (In New York)," posted below.

Indie-rock lovers across the web rejoiced. And, like magic, Crosby's heart grew three sizes ... sorta:

Thus concludes a wonderfully dumb saga, one in which Crosby learned the true meaning of kindness, Titus received some added PR juice for their album reveal, and I wasted slightly more time than usual on the internet.

Take us out, Titus: