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Hank III: Let's punch and fight at First Ave Saturday

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Far be it from me to endorse any of the activities mentioned in the Hank III-penned song dedicated to that rollin'-in-his-own-shit punk rocker GG Allin, be they drinkin' a lotta whiskey, smokin' all the time, doin' cocaine, startin' up fights, spittin' in anyone's faces or generally not givin' a fuck. Lord knows I never partake in any of that. I'm a good girl. And I most definitely give a fuck.

But his music makes me kinda wanna. I mean, the first three. Nothing illegal, folks.

Let us not forget that Hank is the grandson of the Lovesick Country Boy.

But the real shocker is that he's compared more to his daddy's daddy than to his own.

Waylon Jennings' son, Shooter.

Waylon Jennings' son, Shooter.

Okay, not a shocker. Hrm. For all the talk of fuckin' whores, I reckon I'll be less offended by anything I see or hear during Hank III's visit to First Avenue this Saturday (with Assjack and openers Those Poor Bastards from Madison, 6:00, $18/20, 18+) than during my recent evening with his pops, bless the loudmouthed bastard.

And speaking of musical progeny, I'm just fuckin' glad I'll be seeing Hank III come Saturday rather than this guy, and if you go you oughtta be too.

Shooter's not terrible by any stretch, but let's compare. Let's see here... We can take Hank's hillbilly cowpunk interpretation of country and compare it to Shooter's flat Southern country rock bleh.

Shooter once said in an interview:
I was bummed out that I cussed in that last record... I didn't like that I said "goddamn" in the one song. I got mad at myself for doing that because I felt like it limited that one song for getting out in the world, and it was almost like it's not necessary. I'm a guy who doesn't believe in a lot of cussing in music because I don't think it's necessary.

And on the other hand, WalMart wouldn't carry Hank's solo debut even with all the cuss words bleeped out. Y'all can probably guess who I'd rather hang out with, and it's not that pussy Shooter. Hank's of course given his three pennies on the matter.

Shooter is a kid who was born into money and always had money around him. He lived with his dad and mom and moved to L.A., and his rock band didn't happen, and then Waylon died. It seems like he was like, "oh well, Starlight* didn't go over too well - I'll try the country thing because I've got the connections and people do it." Me, I had a kid and a judge**... I was raised by my mom, man. It was a totally different angle. Yeah, as for Shooter, he's here to "put the 'O' in country"***... I'll give it a year and a half. We've already been out here ten. At least we got to say our words, you know. Even David Allan Coe called me up and said, "is it true you and Shooter don't get along?" I was like, "if you had been around this mutherfucker when you were my age, you'd have already kicked his ass." It's just one of those things... I was like, "don't fuckin' go there Shooter." He did. He don't know what the fuck is goin' on though. He's living at David Bowie's house doing two eight balls a day and fuckin' some L.A. girl.****

*Close, Hank. Shooter's L.A. Gn'R rip-off band was called Stargunn.
**Hank recorded his debut record, Three Hanks: Men with Broken Hearts to raise money when he couldn't afford child support. Shooter, on the other hand, named his first-born "Alabama Gypsy Rose." Precious.
***I will concede that that is more clever than putting the Dick in Dixie.
****Her name is Drea de Matteo. She was on The Sopranos and played the sister on Joey Lawrence's spin-off, Joey.

Yeah, Saturday's show's gonna be a fun one.