Five twisted Mardi Gras songs
Today, a multitude of shiftless youth are in New Orleans to consume copious quantities of alcohol, ogle members of the opposite sex, don ludicrous costumes, become well-acquainted with NOLA PD jail cells, and just generally have an incredible time. Your correspondent is not among them -- and probably never will be -- but painstakingly prepared a playlist for you to listen to on repeat roughly 607 times, until you break the CDR in half and tune in whatever nightmare regional pop cuisine is on the FM dial wherever you happen to find yourself at that point.
5. Das Glow, "Jenga"
Call it "statue house": music for dancing spasmodically in place while trying -- on tippy-toe -- to get a glimpse of the logo on the DJ's headphones.
(BOSE? Beats By Dre? Get high enough and shit like that really starts to matter.)
Mood music for road-tripping it to New Orleans for Mardi Gras but winding up in Juno by accident because, well, "LOL drugs."
4. Diamond Rugs, "Gimme A Beer"
Does New Orleans have any "authentic grunge theme bars" for this new Deer Tick side-project? Do these bars perchance offer free Southern Comfort shots and Pabst Blue Ribbon beer-bong hits during Mardi Gras happy hours? What? No? Then fuck New Orleans.
3. Jonquil, "It's My Part"
"Holy shit, was that Morrissey?"
"What? For real?"
"Yeah, just now, over on Bourbon Street."
"Seriously, are you sure?"
"Yeah, he was dressed up as Captain Morgan and feeding mead to midget co-eds from an obnoxiously phallic turkey baster."
2. Prurient, "The Other World"
Who says fermented witches' brew, dry-heaving Terminators, and legions of the damned writhing in eternal torment are incapable of complimenting one another?
Mood music for road-tripping it to New Orleans to close a deal for a crate of animal tranquilizers and unload a cache of hot beads that "fell off of a truck."
1. Schoolboy Q, "Oxy Music"
Celebrated Kendrick Lamar associate gives partial horror-core treatment to turgid, sawed-off beat deserving of full-on horror-core treatment, emerges with solid banger nonetheless.
Mood music for hitch-hiking or road-tripping it to New Orleans to clean the clocks of random Mardi Gras revelers "because the voices insisted."
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