FannyPack: So Stylistic

So Stylistic
Tommy Boy

Finally, a decent dance record out of Brooklyn, and if you expected some Williamsburg skank faking hyperventilation, time to stop diddling yourself in front of the webcam and go get some sun. The star of this show giggles over bunnies, she rocks the fly go-go boots, she disses dickheads in the thickest accent broadcast from the Outer Boroughs since Roxanne Shanté declared revenge on UTFO--over beats that date back just as far, some of 'em. She's 18-year-old Jessibel Suthiwong and she's an adult's mallrat fantasy, no denying it. Producers Matt Goias (age 25) and Fancy (30) plucked the unsuspecting honey from the Fulton Street Mall to create a retro-sass girl group (everyone's already chimed in with L'Trimm comparisons, but I will, too, because they were awesome and I was afraid the world had forgotten them) with Ivy Leaguer Cat Martell (22) and third-party bystander Belinda Lovell (16). But the attitude these girls project is no more a contrivance than the corporate autonomy of Michelle "I wrote it myself" Branch, and they're more honest about their intentions: not just "OK people, let's get famous. Let's get famous! LET'S! GET! FAMOUS!" but "This is our least favorite song on the record. We're sorry."

Were there justice in the world, Ari Fleischer would be pumping my gas and this mix and match of jumpalong bedroom dance styles--Miami bass, hip hop, synth pop, electro--would soon wear out bedsprings in slumber parties across America. (Check the way "The Theme From FannyPack" samples Cold Crush over what sounds like a chimp trying to drum along to "A View To a Kill" after scarfing down Vicodan.) On "Hey Mami," the threesome repeat, in robotic deadpan, blah come-ons they've dodged, then smack them down ("This ain't Scores and you ain't wavin' a dollar")--implicit notice to prudish grown-ups that knowing about sex doesn't mean a girl's gonna put out, and it sure as hell don't mean she's gonna put out for you. And the hit "Cameltoe," in which FannyPack criticize their elders for what family commentators have euphemized as a "frontal wedgie" ("Is your crotch hungry girl?/Cause it's eating your pants") is a reminder that teenagers still know the difference between sexy and slutty. Wonder how old the "middle-aged lady" they ridicule is. At least 25. Maybe it's Peaches.

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