Occasionally, one of the group's second-string singles will turn up on the radio, or some out-of-touch advertising executive will commission that deathless "Stupify" for a commercial. Gimme Noise admits to enjoying the demonic, dry-throated stylings of singer David Draiman on more than one occasion. But you, me, and that guy over there, the one in the complicated carpenter jeans? None of us think about Disturbed with any real regularity, any more than we think about Korn, or Saliva, or Puddle of Mudd, or Staind, or any of the two-dozen late-'90s/early-'00s hard-rock luminaries whose stars have fallen. Gimme Noise would argue that there's nothing wrong with this; it's just the natural way of things. Pop focal points are replaced by new pop focal points. Yesterdays tweens are today's corporate interns. There's a sort of cosmic ebb and flow.
Feel me? Am I getting my point across? Nothing lasts forever, that's just sort of commonly understood.
So why the fuck did Disturbed need to announce a hiatus?
"Many of those reasons are personal reasons, and many of those reasons have to do with the state of the music industry in general and the demise of hard rock and metal right now," Draiman told Billboard
Yeah, okay: I can buy that, there's some truth to that. But here's the thing, man: everyone who has experienced the cyclical decade-long shifts in the music industry already knows that. Making an announcement that your long-out-of-favor semi-metal act is "taking a break to pursue other avenues" is belly-aching, it's pointing fingers, it's sour grapes. It's like accidentally running into a tree, then taking the time to call a press conference to lambast trees; there's a pointlessness to it, a narcissism, as if inviting strangers to pity and cry for you. It's bullshit. It's like being a rapper and announcing a farcical "retirement from rap," or threatening to retire from rap. Sometimes I have the sense that these pissant moves are designed to elicit some kind of outcry or reaction from the masses, some sort of "we're back in a big way because the public demanded it," like in the back of his mind Draiman is hoping against hope that some sort of comeback campaign will gain momentum via the Internet and explode into the kind of unlikely Second Act is still miraculously caught up in.
It could happen, sure, but if it does, it'll happen when Disturbed isn't ready for it.
"Like" Gimme Noise on Facebook and follow us on Twitter at @gimme_noise.