David Hasselhoff: The 10 most memorable moments
We admire his curly hair, his broad shoulders, and his deep, manly voice. But most of all, we admire his success despite any shred of talent, as well as his ability to persevere through the thick cloud of severe alcoholism. The Black Forest Inn also appreciates America's Lifeguard; they're having a whole night devoted to his Hoffness tonight, complete with Hasselhoff-themed prizes and decorations. To help them celebrate, we've compiled a list of the 10 most memorable Hasselhoff moments.
10. The Hoff covering "Hooked On A Feeling"
More than anything, this video showcases Hasselhoff's fascination with holographic cubes, bull elephants, and his affection for those "Be In Your Own Music Video" kiosks that clutter up mall concourses everywhere.
9. Hasselhoff makes a horrifically Shatneresque turn on America's Got Talent with "This Is The Moment"
Unlike the self-consciously silly "Hooked on a Feeling, in this performance the self-importance roils off the German Giant like bad cologne. If you can make it through the whole thing without gagging, we're impressed.
8. Knight Rider
Long before the world would know and fear the Hoff, a young David befriends an effeminite car named K.I.T.T. Thus is born the first man-auto codependent relationship.
7. Our hero launches a social networking website called HoffSpace
When we think of social-media-based PR, this isn't really what springs to mind.
6. Hasselhoff visits a sex shop with his daughter
Really, Hoffmeister? Even in your drunkest drunkedness, you think shopping for dildos with your 17-year-old daughter is a good idea?
5. Germany knocks down the Berlin wall
Only to find that "freedom" is just another word for: the Hoff singing pop songs in a flashing leather lite-brite jacket.
4. Hoff as a judge on America's Got Talent
It just adds a new, deeper meaning to the blind leading the blind. From his mouth: "I think Susan Boyle should run for president of the world."
3. "There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me."
We can think of few things more terrifying to see on your deathbed than the hulking, fake-tanned, inebriated visage of David Hasselhoff.
2. The "Jump In My Car" video
Word cannot describe. It must be viewed. In entirety.
1. The burger video
We're surprised, after the estimated seven and a half gazillion times the Hoff has been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning, that he still has a liver (or a career) left. Rumor has it his daughter filmed this with his consent, so that he could see what a helpless, sad man-baby he becomes when he's in his cups.
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