Crypt above Marilyn Monroe up for auction

Crypt above Marilyn Monroe up for auction

It's altogether ooky-- for a few million, you can be Marilyn Monroe's upstairs neighbor for all eternity. Or at least until floodwaters wash away your corpse.

Ah, is there anything Americans won't sell?

Add this to the "sounds like a bad joke but isn't" file, if you can fit another slip of paper in there without the thing bursting apart at the seams-- the crypt directly above Norma Jean Baker is up for sale on ebay, and the bidding has stalled out at a cool $4.6 million.

We need a moment to compose a few sordid gags about the late Ms. Monroe. So give us a second to get our heads together before clicking the jump.

Gimme Noise will give a high five to anyone rich and funny enough to snap up this crypt, and an extra around-the-world, behind-the-back five if he or she agrees to be buried face down for comedic effect.

To make this crypt even sexier, it's directly beside Hugh Hefner's future resting spot. Which means that, while the winning bidder spends eternity hovering over the remains of the world's greatest sex idol, any spectral lust will be tainted by the fact that, in all liklihood, Hef will be looking on with creepy, detached amusement, his smoking jacket cinched around his waist.

The plot doesn't come risk free-- consider the risk of having your afterlife haunted by the phantoms of Monroe's numerous lovers. One can fairly expect their time in the land of wind and ghosts to be visited by the vengeful spirits of Arthur Miller, Clark Gable, and JFK. Between the three of them, I'd expect a monumental ass-whooping could be administered.

As of now, just a few minutes remain to bid. So those large in the wallet and small in the brain had best be quick.

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