"Cooler Than Me"? Yeah, no shit Posner


Guest Post by: Royal Riley

Hey fuckers! Royal here. It's Friday, it's cold as a witches tit out, and I'm BUGGING OUT that this song "Cooler Than Me" was named a best single by iTunes! Don't misinterstandivize me, the beat on this shit is pretty tight - I mean I'd probably bump it at a pregamer or whatever. But what is this Posner dude playing at? Why's this jabroni hating on designer shades?

Know what's cooler than Mike Posner? This list of awesome shit I just came up with.


I know, I know. You're thinking "ROYAL! WHAT THE FUCK! Tron's for nerds and their virgin girlfriends!" Not true though. Jeff Bridges is and always will be The Dude, and that dude is awesome, and he's in Tron, and these glasses are the shit. End of story. Next.

Cabo Wabo

Not all tequilas are made to be the alike, and if there's one dude I trust to get me shitfaced in the tastiest possible way, it's Sammy Hagar. Dude is the KING.

The Bronx Ghostrider Bomber

Okay POSNER, I'm POSNERTIVE you have no fucking clue what you're talking about. Have you ever seen a girl you're digging without makeup on? YIKES. Get her some MAC or whatever (they have a pretty wide range of skin tones, so it's always really easy to find one that suits you) and LAY IT ON. If you apply correctly all her unevenness will be barely noticeable, especially after a couple Slippery Nips. You're clubbing!


Hey Posner! Instead of ripping on people for trying to dress good, maybe you should get yourself ripped? I use one of these four times a day, and trust me - the beach has never been the same.

Big Money Rustlas

These dudes are hilaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrious! They go to the wild west and just FUCK SHIT UP. It's insane. Too cool for you Posner? Pffft.

Alright y'all, that's all for me from now. See you ladies this weekend ;)