Chilly Gonzales to attempt world's longest concert


Take Me to Broadway? How about Paris instead? Gonzales in Glenn Gould pose.

It's a great poverty that the name Chilly Gonzales isn't a household name. His semi-visible turn as Peaches' prank rap companion in the early 2000s (check out The Entertainist for a dose of some deliberately bad, not too unwitty party jams) did its damndest to keep a beautiful secret-- that Gonzo was, in fact, a concert level jazz and classical pianist. That his stellar release Solo Piano, a group of brief original piano compositions, went almost unviersally unnoticed proves the distractive power of pink lesiure suits and pussy jokes.

The Entertainist at work.

And now word that, starting tomorrow evening at 11:30 P.M. in Paris, Gonzo will attempt the Le Mans of performance-- a 27 hour piano performance to shatter the standing Guinness record. Guinness officials will be on hand, and the entire affair will be a streaming webcast here.

Impressive? Yes. 27 hours seated at the piano in a concert hall would tax the fingertips of even the most dedicated pianists.

But let's not forget a certain someone named Mark Mallman, who was robbed of his rightful glory in 2004 after performing for over 52 hours straight at the Turf Club. The noted eccentric ate sandiwches one-handed, performed from a bloated three ring binder of lyrics and notes, and hosted a constant cycle of bandmates. And when the Turf shut its doors after bar close, Mallman remained overnight, performing by streaming webcast to prove that he was phoning nothing in.

And when, at last, the show was moved from the Clown Lounge to the main stage upstairs for the final hour, Mallman showed virtually no fatigue. He completed the task-- 72 hours at the piano-- and was summarily denied the record, because Guinness officials were not present to witness the feat. Black flagged in the final lap.

So, while we have nothing but respect and love for Gonzo, we must take issue with the validity of his record.  Bon voyage, M. Gonzo, and best of luck. But we were here first, and don't you forget it.