Billy Corgan launches cultish website


"Dude-- what if God was just a slob like one of us?" Billy Corgan.


Because one look at Billy Corgan's discography just screams "LET ME SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS." Because one glance at Corgan's unnerving, spectral visage suggests great inner peace and wisdom. Because "1979" sorta ruled, kinda.

That's right-- after a couple decades of gazing into his navel and yours through topheavy opuses like Mellon Collie and Machina, Corgan has decided to make his cosmic sense of himself a matter of public, official business by launching his own spiritual website. If this isn't a case of the blind leading the deaf, we don't know what is.

Go ahead and click the link, and peruse the top couple blog posts, and you'll find the exact sorts of distracted, metaphysical musing one might expect a past-his-prime rockstar to think worth broadcasting. If we may select a quote (entirely at random, we assure you):

Do we really know?  Is there a heaven? Is there any kind of afterlife?  Clouds, gates, St. Peter?  Burning pits of hell?  By the time I know the answer to that it'll be too late for me to share the information with loved ones. But, I promise, that if I can contact some of you... I will.

Heavy stuff, William Patrick Corgan, if that is your real name. The last time we heard this caliber of spiritual theory, Joan Osborne was being ushered off the stage of the 1995 MTV Music Video Awards.

The redeeming quality of Corgan's wit and wisdom is that it's a blog, and will leave no physical trace of itself by which alien archeologists might measure our species in the unknowable millenia of the future.

We're not quite sure why Corgan's attempts to have an open discourse about legitimately weighty topics rankles us so much, and we've spent the better part of the morning gazing into his eyes, searching his soul and ours for the answer. Is it the intractable self-seriousness which has marked every turn of his public life? The hypocrisy of this short-tempered, bitchy diva posing as a man with so much inner tranquility he has no choice but to share it with the world? The fact that we just kinda have it in for this guy?

Who knows. But all we can see in our mind's eye when we read his musings about death and the afterlife is a baldheaded jerk throwing his bandmates under the bus and pronouncing himself emperor.