He may sing and dance like Fred Astaire, but Axl Rose rarely represents himself gracefully. In a move of play-acted skepticism, Dr. Pepper announced in March of this year that they would give a free can of their soda to every American (excluding, oddly, Buckethead and Slash) should Rose's opus Chinese Democracy see light of day within this calendar year.
It proved to be just the motivation that Rose needed. But when the album actually dropped, Dr. Pepper's promotional website crashed, jilting every man, woman, and child out of their complimentary can. And now hear this-- Rose's lawyers have thrown a world class temper tantrum, publicly demanding an apology from the soda manufacturer in every major paper from Portland, Oregon to Portland, Maine.
"The redemption scheme your company clumsily implemented," reads the scathing indictment, "was an unmitigated disaster which defrauded consumers and, in the eyes of vocal fans, 'ruined' the day of Chinese Democracy's release."
Sure, Rose. Blame the soda.