5ingles: The Songs We Can't Escape

"Fool's Day"

Ah, but who's the fool here? The thirtysomething fannies with a hard-on for a Blur reunion album that may never happen? The musicians who soldier on with stiff upper lips, weathering a marketplace that's less hospitable or sustainable than ever before? Anybody who actually takes Record Store Day seriously?

Cock Safari
"We Don't All Sniff Petrol"

Turns out Australians love Steve Buscemi as much as they love talking heads yakking on about nothing over what sounds like the looped, sickening screech of Amtrak trains colliding.

"Born Free"

This is more or less just M.I.A. rapping over a Suicide song. Which is fine with us, provided that Suicide—who are still alive!—join her onstage to thrash out this hash of distorto-synths at some point in the future.

"She Got It Made"

Most rappers make a point of attaching conditional strings to checkbooks or insisting that you—the pliant, comely young thing—will never receive as much as a ring for companionship, affection, or "brane." Plies is not most rappers; he doesn't expect much from his chickens. "I buy you Gucci and Prada, and fly you all around the world/Because you so much hotter than all them other girls," he rasps on the chorus, dangling specifics on the verses: "If you like to ride candy, I can put you in the paint," "You ain't got to cook, baby/All you gotta do is order," "If you ever get cold, I can put you in a mink." Humanitarian!

Uffie feat. Pharrell

Kind of like popping a dozen party pills at a Euro-trash rave and passing out in the VIP lounge, only to reawaken to find that these same pills have grown, anthropomorphized, are cannibalistic, and are eyeing you. Worse: They brought Pharrell along!

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