Why these antsy freak-folkers opted to pen the best synthed-out Stephen Malkmus tune since 2005's "Pencil Rot" is anybody's guess, but I'm sure glad they did. Don't bogart that, er, peacebone.
Pitchman/hip-hop dork comes back hard over scratched-up Kanye beat, steps to haters, dilettantes, and melanin-free fans lest anyone dare mistake him for a New Agey pansy: "I never kissed the ass of the masses/I'm the black molasses/Thick and I lasted past these rap bastards/They tried to box me in like Cassius Clay." Tough talk, but you know Common was all Gap'd out whilst spitting that fire.
Interpol"No I in Threesome"
Interpol wouldn't be such a grating entity if we never had to contemplate photographs of them modeling haberdashery or read articles about their pet breeding. An Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind reality could make this "Slow Hands" sequel a true event. As is, it's just pleasantly grand sonically—and ridiculous lyrically (yep, Paul Banks does sing the title).
Ozzy Osbourne"I Don't Wanna Stop"
Sharon's incoherent hubby looks rougher every time he hobbles out onstage, but bless him—dude helps keep the pop-metal, high-octane song mill a-hummin'. "Stop" will serve the twisted purposes of tweakers and lead-footers until Rob Zombie gets sick of directing gleefully bad movies and returns to the studio.
UGK feat. Outkast"International Players Anthem"
Southern rap royals UGK top the marquee, and producers Three 6 Mafia set the soulful scene with a Willie Hutch sample, but Outkast truly own this congenial "Anthem"—a waiting-at-the-altar single so easy-breezy and chill that it's possible to miss it completely. Andre 3000 outshines everybody else: "So, I typed a text to a girl I used to see/Sayin' that I chose this cutie pie with whom I wanna be/And I apologize if this message gets you down/Then I CC'd every girl that I'd see see 'round town."