5 possible surprises at tonight's Prince show
Unlikely to be on the merch table for tonight, but who knows?
Prince's shows tonight at the Dakota, his last of these "open rehearsal" concerts, are advertised on the Dakota's website with four simple words (and extra punctuation): "Surprise!! (don't miss this!)." These shows sold out in scant minutes and there was almost a Pavlovian willingness to fork over large sums of money to get a glimpse of the most famous musician to which this state can lay claim.
But Friday's four word promise/enticement/possible boondoggle got me thinking a bit about what surprises there might be in store for anyone who decided to forgo what was likely at least part of their car payment just to say they saw Prince in an intimate setting. Could it possibly be worth it for $250? Here are some guesses as to what might happen tonight -- aside from the more likely rumor that he'll debut an all-female ensemble -- along with a likelihood factor. (Though the lower the likelihood, the more rewarding it would be if it actually takes place.)
5. Hologram Jimi Hendrix.
Prince has long idolized Jimi Hendrix and with the proliferation of dead musicians in hologram form (ok, just Tupac, but still) maybe a duet of "Hey Joe" or better yet a recreation of Jimi lighting his guitar on fire at Woodstock while Prince does the same on stage for real is in order to get the bad taste of Tupac's Coachella, ahem, "appearance" out of our mouths, though it has the potential to make that bad taste permanent.
4. Finally explaining why raspberry berets should only be associated with second-hand stores.
"Raspberry Beret" from 1985's Around the World in a Day is one of Prince's finest songs but I've always found the lyrical couplet in the chorus odd. Why can you only find raspberry berets in second-hand stores? Were said second-hand stores suddenly running low on them after the release of this song? Weren't things like this available in other stores? My own mother used to have a raspberry-colored beret in the '80s and she has likely never been in a second-hand store (not even the Ragstock at Mall of America). I'll never understand why these two seemingly disparate things--a thrift store and dark pink French headwear--ever seemed like they'd be good plot devices for a compelling story about Prince getting, yet again, laid by a woman, but I'm not a songwriter and I'm definitely not Prince. I want an answer on this. Someone please shout this question at him tonight.
Likelihood: 6/10 (Likelihood of getting thrown out of the Dakota if you follow the demand posited in the the last sentence: 10/10)
3. Offering the actual pronunciation of Love Symbol #2
Back when Prince was at war with Warner Bros., he changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol and began releasing music under it and not as Prince. It added mystery and more than a little eccentricity to an already mysterious and eccentric artist. Nobody even attempted to add a vocal sound to it and it's now referred to as "Love Symbol #2," but that sounds stupid if you say it: "Hey, can I borrow your copy of Love Symbol #2's The Gold Experience?" The pronunciation may sound like a guttural moan that could set off car alarms or the vocal equivalent of flowers blooming, who knows? Either way (or any way, really), this would be a welcome surprise, indeed.
2. Apologizing for Carmen Electra.
Back before she married Dennis Rodman, then Dave Navarro, was on Baywatch, Singled Out and seemed to literally be everywhere somehow, Carmen Electra had a short-lived singing career under Prince's guide. Though that didn't last long, it's partly his fault we had to suffer through her annoying ineptitude for so many years in there and I, for one, would like him to take responsibility for it.
1. Announcing that he has tired of protecting his music and that his entire back catalog of videos will be available on YouTube.
Known as one of the most fiercely protective musicians in regard to his image and music (indeed, he makes Trent Reznor look like a slacker in this respect), Prince has a stranglehold on how he would like to be perceived and never wavers from it, the best example being he is one of the few A-list musicians who has never allowed Weird Al to rewrite one of his songs. Were he to do this, however, the theories of the entire internet crashing or tearing a hole in the space-time continuum both become a very real possibilities.
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