5 most ridiculous lines on 'Watch the Throne'

Kanye West and Jay-Z's collaborative effort Watch the Throne sees two of rap's hugest artists team up to become even more hugest-er. Prior to listening, I had mixed feelings about the whole concept: Both rappers are so gigantic and rich and bored that I figured the album would be like an episode of "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous." Then again, I always think it's a good thing for musicians who could very well raspberry into their armpits on a microphone and still sell gold to actually stretch their artistic ambitions with a conceptual project.

This is too big to be ignored, but a few other things piqued my interest before the album dropped: The potential return of the rap duo (Seriously, how many current hip-hop duos can you count?), the strength of the beats from leaked tracks (the operatic, Lex Luger-produced "H.A.M.", featured as a bonus track on WTT, is exactly what I want from "hood-opulence") and the lack of padding from bullshit guests (forcing the two to actually form this notion into a full-fledged album). Despite being occasionally critical of Hova and Kanye, I maintain utmost respect for them, and I was curious what this gold-plated album would deliver.

On first listen, it's sort of what I expected: good, if uneven; fun, if obnoxious; better than the pessimist in me would give credit for, but inconsistent enough to not hit completely. The beats are uniformly excellent, though, pulling together some interesting productions from RZA, Q-Tip, Swizz Beats and British dubstep artist Verse Simmons. The best part about the beats is how several of them switch up drastically in the middle, not only adding to the tone of the track but supplying energy to the dynamic duo's respective flows, which can on occasion get lost in their own "I own cars and boats and cars" boasting. The presence of OFWGKTA's resident R'n'B singer Frank Ocean (whose voice is the first heard on the record) is an excellent touch and adds many layers of sonic power to tracks "No Church in the Wild" and "Made In America."

So, all in all, it's a good album worth the listen. But I can't neglect the reason why I was initially hesitant. Let's not forget a key factor here: Kanye West is ridiculous. The album has a cohesive whole to it and has a lot of high points lyrically and sonically, but, well, Kanye will always be ridiculous. Whether Jay-Z should be in a rocking chair in Florida is a different debate, but I don't think anyone can deny that, brilliant artist that he ostensibly is, Kanye West has his moments of unforgivable ridiculousness.

Kanye West's 5 Most Ridiculous Lines on Watch The Throne:

  • "Ix-nay off that dix-nay / That's pig latin, itch-bay" (Who Gon Stop Me)

A classic Kanye face-palm line that brought my head-nodding to the track to an almost screeching halt.

  • "Prince Williams ain't do it right if you ask me / Cuz I was him, I would have married Kate and Ashley" (Niggas In Paris)

A parallel to his seemingly Dan Savage-inspired take on monogamy in "No Church in the Wild," Mr. West felt the need to make a pun on the Olson twins. See, "married" can be read "Mary" also, see? Did you see that?

  • "I might even make [my son] be Republican / So everyone know he love white people" (New Day)

Kanye's hypothetical son is going to be forced into many number of non-Kanye lifestyle choices, including becoming a conservative, just in case white people get upset again.

  • "Started a blog jut to get some traffic / Old folks'll tell you not to play in traffic / A million hits and the web crashes" (Made In America)

I'll bet your blog is doing real well, Kanye; I'm proud of you. Isn't Frank Ocean singing about Coretta Scott King and baby Jesus on the hook though? Maybe I missed the connection.

  • "Got staples on my dick / Why? / Fuckin' centerfolds" (Illest Motherfucker Alive)

Kanye has the unique ability to be stupid and funny at the same time, and this line is a great example of when it works in his favor. Ridiculous nonetheless.

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