This Wednesday, Trash Film Debauchery brings us one of the least sexy movies about sexiness ever made. A modern masterpiece, Showgirls follows the story of Nomi (Elizabeth Birkley), a stripper who seeks fame and glory on the Las Vegas club circuit. She soon makes a frenemy of top dancer Cristal (Gina Gershon) after bonding a bit over the fact that they both have tried dog food (seriously). Soon, Nomi is dating Cristal’s boyfriend, Zack (Kyle MacLachlan), coming together in one of the most frantic and weird pool (sex?) scenes ever filmed. This is a classy pic, filled with histrionic acting, nonsensical nudity, and mispronunciations of “Versace.” You might not find it sexy, but it’s definitely entertaining.