And you thought you had a big week.
Meet Clover, giraffe mom and resident (employee?) at Como Zoo in St. Paul, who gave birth to her eighth calf on Tuesday. Well, she started to, anyway.
Thursday evening and Friday morning, your social media feeds will be filled with adorable pictures of Clover's large, healthy baby boy, ears flicked up, eyes calm but curious, neck... y'know, long.
See, here's the thing they don't tell you when you get pregnant as a giraffe, perhaps because it'd be ruinous for the continuation of the species: They're born big. This as-yet-unnamed calf stands160 pounds and 6-foot-4, making him as tall or taller than six players on the Timberwolves roster. Coaches will want him to bulk up, obviously, but he's worth the risk given the he might eventually be 18 feet tall.
The calf's father is named Skeeter, and this is his seventh calf. (Wait, Clover's had eight calves, Skeeter's had seven... did we miss a two-part episode of Keeping up with the Giraffeians?) The new calf is expected to make a public debut next week alongside the rest of their family herd, per Como's announcement.
The news comes with several other adorable photos, like this one:
Ooooooo and look at this one!
OK, enough cuteness, let's get real. You clicked on this because of the image at the top. Taken by a member of the Como Friends nonprofit charity, and tweeted by the Como Zoo account, it was said to have become "quite the social media sensation."
Wonder why. Let's have a look, shall we?
Ol' Clover looks rather chill about the long, cloven-hoofed [shudder] legs breaching her vagina, maybe because she's been through this before and knows there's plenty of giraffe to go. She waited around 14 months for this moment. Run the numbers, and Clover's been pregnant more than 800 months of her life.
She is said to have retired "to her bedroom" to complete this birth, which at first sounds kind of nice, until you consider this, dear reader: She walked around like this.
Happy Friday, Clover. You, unlike most of us, have earned it.