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Santas barhop on bikes, Christmas-y horror movies, Lakes & Legends turns 4: A-List 12.4-8

Horror for the holidays at Trylon's You Better Watch Out

Horror for the holidays at Trylon's You Better Watch Out 'Gremlins'

Check out this week's top happenings.

Found Footage Festival: Volume 9

Found Footage Festival: Volume 9 Pudgie Wudgie

WEDNESDAY 12.4

Found Footage Festival: Volume 9
Heights Theater

In the heyday of VHS—unlike our current era of online videos—exposure to regrettable choices captured on tape played to a select audience. Thanks to comics Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher, however, the most stunningly misguided productions of the videotape era, rediscovered in dusty thrift-store bins and neglected boxes of estate-sale clutter, serve as hilariously confounding material for the duo’s immensely popular Found Footage Festival. Since 2004, Pickett and Prueher (childhood friends whose individual writing credits include contributions to, respectively, the Onion and The Colbert Report), have amassed a cult following around their bizarre video compilations, which treat audiences to a seemingly endless assortment of perplexing obsessions, imprudent advice, and unflattering family mementos. Their latest collection promises even more uproarious oddities, including a tone-deaf karaoke montage, hopelessly mundane home movies, and unearthed footage of the 1988 Miss Junior America Wisconsin pageant. 7:30 p.m. $14. 3951 Central Ave. NE, Columbia Heights; 763-789-4992. —Brad Richason

Sean Patton
Acme Comedy Co.

“I’ve been touring a lot, which sometimes leaves me feeling a little discombobulated and slightly confused about where I am,” reports comedian Sean Patton. “But it’s great to do shows and perform for a living. It’s all I ever wanted.” After spending much of last year overseas, Patton has mostly been traveling around the U.S. He sometimes misses those foreign audiences and places, though. “Australia is the coolest,” he notes. “It doesn’t feel that foreign. Yeah, they drive on the opposite side of the road, have some weird eating habits, and drink like they’re trying to prove something, but ultimately it feels very similar.” Patton isn’t much of a partier these days, no matter the country. “I don’t smoke much weed,” he tells an audience. “I’m all about legalizing it, but I’m one of those people it really affects. Every time I smoke weed, there’s an 8 percent chance I’m going to suddenly realize how many people are wearing hats, get weirded out by that, and leave.” 18+. 8 p.m. Wednesday through Saturday; 10:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday. $20. 708 N. First St., Minneapolis; 612-338-6393. Through Saturday —P.F. Wilson

Kate Wallich and the YC & Perfume Genius, 'The Sun Still Burns Here'

Kate Wallich and the YC & Perfume Genius, 'The Sun Still Burns Here' Agustin Hernandez

THURSDAY 12.5

Katie Wallich + The YC x Perfume Genius: The Sun Still Burns Here
Walker Art Center

The bold-face name here is Mike Hadreas, aka Perfume Genius, who holds audiences rapt as he conjures, through his moving body, a delicate yet defiantly queer performance, giving a lilting voice to the rawest of intimate emotions. The fact that Seattle’s Kate Wallich, known for crafting dance worlds of gothic minimalism through a combination of classical and contemporary choreographies, has been paired with Hadreas is, well, pure genius. Together (and with Wallich’s company, The YC), they’ve fashioned an immersive, multimedia work in which bodies undergo a sensual yet harrowing descent before transcendence. 8 p.m. Thursday through Saturday. $35. 1750 Hennepin Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-375-7600. Through Saturday —Camille LeFevre

City Pages Cocktailian
The Depot

Whether you’re hosting a holiday party this season and in need of some cocktail inspiration or you just want to get toasted, either (or both!) can be accomplished at Cocktalian. You’ll have access to booze made by over 20 distilleries, many of them local. The list includes Minnesota makers like Prairie Organic Spirits, Tattersall Distilling, Loon Liquors, Royal Foundry Craft Spirits, Bent Brewstillery, and 11 Wells, to name a few. Try offerings neat or sip them in a mixed drink. Last year’s creations included a mini Bloody Mary, a baby martini, and hard seltzer. Bittercube’s station often has new drinks to try on the hour, and will also be offering demos at various points of the evening. 21+. 7 to 10 p.m.; 6 p.m. VIP admission. $30-$40; $45-$55 VIP. 300 S. Washington Ave., Renaissance Minneapolis Hotel, Minneapolis; 612-339-2253. —Jessica Armbruster

Jackie Fabulous
Rick Bronson’s House of Comedy

Jackie Fabulous is probably most widely known for being a recent contestant on America’s Got Talent, but she’s been making audiences laugh for quite a while. A native of the Bronx, she quit her job as an attorney to pursue comedy full-time. Most of her set is based on her everyday life. “I’ve tried online dating,” she tells an audience. “It’s my man mall. I go online, get a clutch purse, a pair of shoes, and a boyfriend. It’s all the same thing.” Sometimes dating can get frustrating. “We saw three movies in a week,” she explains about one relationship. “I said, ‘When are we going to stop watching movies and start making some? I’m kind of bored.’ And he said, ‘You’re a nice lady; I want to be a gentleman.’ I said, ‘Who told you to do that? I met you on hot chocolate dot lust dot com. You’re not my soul mate.’” In her live set she gets a bit edgier and even more self-effacing as she talks about weight loss, her love life, and more. 7:30 p.m.Thursday and Friday; 9:45 p.m. Friday; 7 p.m. Saturday and Sunday; 9:30 p.m. Saturday. $16. 408 E. Broadway, Mall of America, Bloomington; 952-858-8558. Through Sunday —P.F. Wilson

Hub for the Holidays at the Depot

Hub for the Holidays at the Depot Krivit Photography

FRIDAY 12.6

Hub for the Holidays
Union Depot

Last week, Holidazzle kicked off in Loring Park. This week, St. Paul’s winter party begins, offering a variety of winter-themed fun. This Friday will feature a tree-lighting ceremony at 6 p.m. There will be a singalong before plugging in the giant tree on the front lawn, followed by a fireworks show and a double-header screening of Elf and The Polar Express. Meanwhile, on the East Plaza, you’ll find the annual European Christmas Market. Shop for handmade items, enjoy traditional eats like sausages, mulled wine, and sweets, and take in live music and dancing. Santa, his reindeer, and Krampus will also be stopping by Fridays through Sundays each week. The Canadian Pacific (CP) Holiday Train is visiting on December 10, and the much-loved Holiday Bake Sale is set for December 14. Find the complete schedule of events at uniondepot.org/holiday. The market hours run: 4 to 9 p.m. Fridays; 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Saturdays; 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sundays. The market and tree lighting are free; tickets are required for some upcoming events. 214 E. Fourth St., St. Paul; 651-202-2700. Through December 22 —Jessica Armbruster

The Holiday Pageant
Open Eye Figure Theatre

“It was just this little weird thing that we did,” says director Michael Sommers about the origins of what became Open Eye Figure Theatre’s Holiday Pageant. “We made it in the living room. We had a young show, and then an adult show, and there was mulled wine. We did a couple of nights, and then the next year 100 people showed up in the living room.” That was in the 1980s, but the wildly creative production draws on an even older tradition: the medieval practice of telling sacred stories with secular panache, mixing bawdy humor and genuine wonder. From the pageant’s DIY beginnings, it grew to a fully staged spectacular at the Pantages Theatre before scaling back down to Open Eye’s current storefront space. Now the company is bringing the pageant back after a half-decade hiatus. “My children are actually performing in it,” says Sommers, “which kind of brings it back to where it came from.” Incorporating live actors, live music, and the company’s world-renowned puppetry, the pageant’s return will be cheered by the multigenerational fans of Minnesota’s most wickedly entertaining Christmas story. 7:30 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays; 4 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays. 7:30 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays; 4 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays. $12-$26. 506 E. 24th St., Minneapolis; 612-874-6338. Through December 22 —Jay Gabler

Judah Friedlander
The Cedar Cultural Center

Even though Judah Friedlander’s latest show has been dubbed “Future President 2019 World Tour,” audiences shouldn’t expect anything resembling polished pandering for votes. Friedlander has, after all, crafted his persona on an inscrutable detachment that extends from his ultra-casual stage attire to his deadpan delivery. His best material is served with a generous infusion of sarcasm, all the better for underscoring satirical commentaries on cultural inanities. Known for his ubiquitous trucker caps, each emblazoned with a droll quip, Friedlander long ago established himself as a memorable presence in movies and television shows (particularly with his recurring role as Frank, a lazy staff writer on 30 Rock). Still, his most frequent appearances remain on the standup circuit. Despite the pretense of nonchalance, Friedlander’s incisive material continually demonstrates a restless comic mind that obsesses over finding the perfect wording to maximize each punchline or one-liner. All ages. 8 p.m. $20/$22 at the door. 416 Cedar Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-338-2674. —Brad Richason

You Better Watch Out
Trylon Cinema

There’s something creepy about Santa Claus, an eternal being whose elf minions spend the year spying on the children of the world, all so their sovereign can break into homes on Christmas Eve to render his verdict of naughty or nice. Those labeled miscreants can at least consider themselves lucky to merely receive a lump of coal as punishment, unlike the unfortunate souls facing the homicidal judgement of a psychotic Santa impersonator in Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984). Giddily unhinged, the notorious film represents just one of five perilous depictions of the holiday season offered in the Trylon’s wonderfully wicked series, You Better Watch Out. In the highly influential slasher classic Black Christmas (1974), a serial killer lurks within a sorority house, preying on unsuspecting co-eds over their holiday break. Switching to the Finnish Korvatunturi mountain range, the darkly fantastical Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) presents the deranged mayhem that results when a viciously vengeful Santa is unleashed from earthbound imprisonment. The assumed Kris Kringle of French thriller Dial Code Santa Claus (1989) is no less malevolent, as he stalks a young boy who defends himself with an arsenal of cunning booby traps. Closing out the series in anarchic style are hordes of mirthfully malicious Gremlins (1984), who terrorize an entire town as they run amok with murderous Christmas glee. 7 and 9 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays; 5 and 7 p.m. Sundays. Showtimes do vary, so check trylon.org for a complete list of times. $8. 2820 E. 33rd St., Minneapolis; 612-424-5468. Through December 29  —Brad Richason

"Let There Be Space" at SooVAC

"Let There Be Space" at SooVAC Katayoun Amjadi, 'Nervous System'

SATURDAY 12.7

Let There Be Spaces in Your Togetherness
Soo Visual Center for the Arts

This gallery show features works by U.S.-based artists of southwest Asian and north African (SWANA) descent. Coordinated by Mizna, the exhibition brings the perspectives and practices of more than 20 artists to one place. Taking its title from a quote by Khalil Gibran, the show celebrates the ways in which cultures come together and yet make space between themselves in order to find expression and sustenance. Collage, sculpture, installation, and photography are among the diverse media deployed. The revelatory work includes pieces by the show’s jurors: Essma Imady, Hend al Mansour, and Lamia Abukhadra. There will be an opening reception from 6 to 9 p.m. on Saturday, December 7. 2909 Bryant Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-871-2263. Through January 9 —Camille LeFevre

7th Annual Santa Cycle Rampage
The Loop Bar & Restaurant

For the past seven years, folks have put on some Santa gear, hopped on a bike, and ridden en masse, spreading holiday cheer. This Saturday, the spectacle continues. To build a solid base, folks will meet at 10 a.m. for breakfast at the Loop. From there, the Santas will ride. Participants are currently voting on a preferred route, but stops at Utepils, Modist, La Doña, Able, and Sociable seem likely. If you’d like to vote, visit bit.ly/santarampage. Otherwise, tape a Santa hat and some jingle bells to your helmet, pack some cash, and rock some winter gloves. 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Free. 606 Washington Ave. N., Minneapolis; 612-340-0010. —Jessica Armbruster

4-Year Anniversary Party
Lakes & Legends Brewing Company

Taprooms are known to have chill vibes and neighborhood charm. With that in mind, it makes sense that Lakes & Legends is celebrating its fourth anniversary with a casual party. This Saturday, the Minneapolis Craft Market will be stopping by to sell locally made artisan goods, as Poppa Bear Norton and Black River Revue play tunes. Special beer tappings are another highlight. Birthday brews include a double IPA, an imperial stout, several infusions, a cranberry saison, and a barley wine. KCM EggRolls and Blue Fire Pizza food trucks will be onsite for those with an appetite. Noon to midnight. Free. 1368 Lasalle Ave., Minneapolis; 612-999-6020. —Loren Green

The Ever and After
The Crane Theater

In her post-apocalyptic sci-fi parable The Ever and After, contemporary playwright Rachel Teagle attempts to reconcile our contradictory impulses to create and destroy. This wildly entertaining journey is led by Thurston, a cockroach gifted with the intellect of a genius. He and his feral human sidekick, Sheelar, set out to explore the debris of society. Soon, they stumble upon a robotic woman named IDA. Together, this unlikely trio examine the hapless legacy of humanity, seeking a cause for our collapse and an understanding of our future prospects. Rife with contemporary themes, an early draft of The Ever and After was named the 2012 recipient of the Leah Ryan’s Fund for Emerging Writers. Further refined by workshops and readings, The Ever and After is a startlingly relatable dystopian tale with a much anticipated world premiere staging courtesy of Theatre Pro Rata. Visit theatreprorata.org for reservations. 7:30 p.m. Fridays through Sundays, plus Monday, December 9; 3 p.m. Sunday, December 22. $14-$41 sliding scale at the door; Monday night is pay-as-able. 2303 Kennedy St. NE, Minneapolis; 612-548-1380. Through December 22 —Brad Richason

Miracle at Lawless

Miracle at Lawless

SUNDAY 12.8

Miracle at Lawless
Lawless Distilling

While many bars throw up a few decorations during the holidays, Lawless takes it to the next level, getting festive as shit. Now that winter has arrived, they’ve gone full North Pole, loading every inch of their ceilings and walls with twinkling lights, tinsel wreaths, and candy-colored ornaments. Their menu is changing to reflect the holidays, too; one whimsical concoction teased on Facebook features cotton candy in a gimlet glass. Sundays will be particularly festive, with Minneapolis Craft Market hosting the Hygge Holiday Market in the back room, where you’ll find a different variety of makers each week. 4 to 11 p.m. Sundays through Tuesdays; 4 p.m. to midnight Wednesdays through Saturdays. Free. 2619 28th Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-276-1000. Through January 1 —Jessica Armbruster