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Minnesota's super sexy fetish is... not cumming

Minnesota's fetish is all about feeling pleasure... but not all of it.

Minnesota's fetish is all about feeling pleasure... but not all of it. Getty Images/iStockphoto

As a living being with a central nervous system, odds are, you like to feel good.

As a Minnesotan with weird hang-ups, odds are, you feel guilty any time you feel good.

The combined forces of our nature have turned Minnesota into one of the "edge play" capitals of America, according to a study of which fetishes each state Googles most often.

In case you care to pretend you're not one of the locals searching this particular topic, let us Google that for you:

Edging, peaking, or surfing[1] is an orgasm control sexual technique that may be practiced either alone or with a partner and involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching climax.

Sounds like just the right amount of fun, doesn't it? 

Edging can be practiced alone or with a partner, with the latter offering the possibility of the following dialogue:

Sex person 1: Did you cum?

Sex person 2: Yeah.

Sex person 1: OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY!

Delayed gratification, fruitless demonstrations of self-control, voluntary frustration, a secret reason to feel superior to people around you, taking forever to say goodbye, never just taking the last fucking bite, extending the passive aggressive relationships in your life to include the one with pleasure centers inside your own corporeal shell -- it's everything in your wildest dreams, but without that weird part where you have to feel The Good Thing.

Other states, by contrast, are into cumming. (Gross.) How they arrive there, though, reveals America as a patchwork of curiosities. Among our neighbors, North Dakotans have a thing for cuckolding, South Dakotans like masochism, Iowans are down for group sex, and Wisconsin is into -- wait for it... wait for it... admit it you pervert, you like this... -- "sports gear."

For Wisconsin's sake, we wish this term implied something to do with tennis rackets,  and/or water skis, let's be honest: This means two people wearing Packers jerseys and fucking. Preferably while the Packer game is on.

Feel free to peruse the whole map, which unsurprisingly reveals sex involving more than two people and various forms of BDSM are popular. A few examples: Alaska likes fisting, Oregon's been Googling gagging, and the people of Idaho are using the world wide web to learn more about erotic electrostimulation.

CORRECTION: Since publishing this post, City Pages has learned "edge play" is not the same as edging, and is in fact a term for boundary-pushing sex, and literally incorporates "an edge, such as knives, swords, or other cutting implements." Cool! This confusion is why we generally outsource our sex writing to Dan Savage. City Pages regrets suggesting you freaks don't know how to get off. Please don't pull a knife on us... unless we ask.