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As the film begins, Eli wakes up fucked--karmically hexed, one suspects, for decades of bad faith. His big objective is to assemble a benefit for a group of young Nigerian men being detained by New York's mayor (i.e., Giuliani--in this movie's ambiguous cosmos). This means pulling together a Sharpton-like Harlem demagogue (Bill Nunn) and a Bloomberg-like liberal zillionaire (Richard Schiff). It also means luring his one big client: Cary Launer (Ryan O'Neal), a Warren Beatty-esque movie star with extremely decadent predilections and an eye on Hillary's Senate seat. The calamity is that Cary has a mess for Eli to fix: a coked-up starlet ( Téa Leoni) whom he wants Eli to pick up and put on an airplane. Except that Eli never gets her on an airplane; instead, the two wind up in an opium den and a bisexual group-grope in a skyscraper blocks away from Ground Zero. Before he knows what hit him, Eli wakes up in a hotel bathtub, with a very dead starlet facedown on the bed.
At this point, you expect that all the fun Baitz is taking in limning a soon-to-be-gone New York will dissolve into a conventional car chase-oriented sort of "thriller." That never happens. (And neither, apparently, will the film's theatrical release.) Instead, Baitz and director Dan Algrant paint a picture of a dying culture: Jewish, gay, learned, liberal, loyal, and about to melt into air. And Pacino's chicken-haired flack is this movie's version of Burt Lancaster's Leopard--or Tennessee Williams (the man, not his characters). In a dazzling sequence that would make Paddy Chayefsky green with envy, Pacino delivers an anguished, confessional, operating-table monologue while getting his penis dilated by Paulina Porizkova's nurse. ("I left Harvard Law for Hollywood 'cause I wanted to suck cock!" Eli cries.) The overripe theatricality that has marred so many of the latter-day Pacino performances finds perfect expression in Eli's old-school, theatricalized effeminacy. It surely ranks as an all-time great Pacino moment when Eli dashes into a roomful of rich, concerned liberal women who tell him they must get up to Harlem; without missing a beat, Eli, his back to us, laments, "Honey, we all got to get to Harlem."