Free Will Astrology
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Do you know what an expansion joint is? No, it's not slang for a marijuana cigarette you smoke in hopes of enlarging your worldview. Rather, it's an architectural term referring to the flexible sections that are built into a bridge or brick wall. These ensure that the structure can safely adjust as its construction materials expand and contract in response to changing weather and temperature. Since I expect that you will be building a new metaphorical edifice or renovating an existing one in 2008, I wanted to get you thinking about this. Expansion joints should be a key element in your plans. In fact, now is a perfect time to meditate on how to make them and where they will go.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The average person changes residences 11 times in the course of his or her life. Having lived in 33 different homes so far, I'm way above the norm. What about you, Taurus? I'm guessing that you will either make a major move in the coming year, or else you will find your true spiritual home. Here's a third possibility: You may penetrate more deeply into your existing abode, transforming it from a place of shelter to a sublime sanctuary—re-imagining it and reinventing it and reinhabiting it with an intensity that amazes you..
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I'm guessing your heart will be smarter than usual in 2008. At the very least, love won't make you stupid, as it sometimes has in the past. Here's a suggestion to help ensure that your higher intelligence is always guiding your decisions about intimacy: Develop a habit of looking for the best in your intimate companions. I hope that in the coming months you will frequently utter declarations like the following: (1) "I love how you give me your full attention when we talk." (2) "I love how in touch you are with yourself." (3) "I love that you can make me laugh even when I'm mad." (4) "I love your impeccable sense of timing—how you call or show up at the right moment." (5) "I love how free you make me feel to tell the absolute truth." (These words of praise and more were lifted from the book What I Love Most About You.)
CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the fifth century B.C., the culturally rich city-state of Athens was a democracy, while militaristic Sparta was a dictatorship. But they put aside their differences and came together in a great collaboration to fight off the Persian invasion of Greece. I suspect you may make a similar move in 2008, Cancerian. A person or institution you have regarded as an adversary could become your ally. An influence from which you have always set yourself apart may help you pull off a feat of strength you couldn't have done otherwise.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "It's now possible to fake everything," writes David M. Hopkins in his book Counterfeiting Exposed. He's not just referring to digitally altered photos of celebrities and singers who lip-sync to pre-recorded vocals during their supposed live performances. He means everything in the world, from vintage wines to famous paintings to designer jeans. At least five percent of all products on the planet are phony. I bring this to your attention, Leo, because I'm putting you on high alert for frauds and cons and deceptions of every kind. You should be the top whistleblower of the zodiac in 2008, the chief bullshit-detector and constructive critic.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your main assignment in 2008 is to become highly skilled at feeling good. Does that sound like something you might want to do? If so, here's the beginning of a regimen you could follow: (1) Be constantly taking notes about what experiences give you delight and what situations make you feel at home in the world. (2) Always be scheming to provide yourself with those experiences and situations. (3) Take a vow that nothing will obstruct you from seeking out and creating pleasure, peace, love, wonder, and an intimate connection with life.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): "Too much aggression is dangerous," writes George R. Elder in his book An Encyclopedia of Archetypal Symbolism, "but, then, so is too little." One of your main assignments in 2008, Libra, draws on that wise counsel. Unfortunately, you don't have any good role models who can demonstrate how to gracefully express just the right amount of sinewy force. Everyone's either too pushy or too meek. You're going to have to figure out how to pull off this subtle yet momentous feat all by yourself.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): "Dear Rob: Here are my New Year's resolutions. (1) I vow to Siamese-twin together my bad-ass, no-hype, wide-eyed self with my tricky, strategic, puzzle-loving self. (2) I vow to rage on like a dancing warrior in the urban wilderness, keeping peak experiences and total slaphappy victory at the top of my priority list, while at the same time I play hide-and-seek with the dark delicious secrets that fuel my soul's lust for wicked meaning. (3) I vow to deepen the collaborative efforts of my suck-out-the-marrow-and-spit-out-the-bones craziness and my listen-carefully-to-the-flow-of-the-underground-river caginess. –Double Intense Scorpio." Dear Double Intense: Scorpios everywhere will benefit from hearing your resolutions, which is why I've made them 2008's first horoscope.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In my dream, I was addressing a crowd of Sagittarians in a festively decorated hall. It was the first week of 2008. "You are not yet ready for the wonderful things you think you want," I told them. "To actually get them, you will have to change yourself in the coming months; you will have to shed some old conditioning that is interfering with your quest for success. Do you know what that old conditioning is? Find out NOW! Figure out how you need to transform yourself in order for the world to give you what you yearn for."
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Do you ever wonder if God loves Brad Pitt and Paris Hilton more than he loves you, as seemingly evidenced by those celebrities' charmed lives? Do you suspect that Tiger Woods' fame and Bill Gates' wealth mean that fate is friendlier to them that it is to you? If so, you're in for a major surprise, Capricorn. Events in 2008 will bring you big deliveries of the next best things to riches and fame. You'll get more proof than you've had in a long time that God and fate adore you.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): As I began my hike around the lake, I asked the spirits for a vision that would serve as a symbol of your life in 2008. "Give me a sign," I said aloud, gazing to the heavens. Soon I came upon two rattlesnakes copulating on the path ahead of me. It was a beautiful ruckus. I stopped a few yards back to watch, reasoning that they were too preoccupied with each other to attack me. When they finally disengaged, I retreated. Just then I saw a very pregnant woman approaching me. She was walking alone with her head down, lost in thought. I called her attention to the snakes and convinced her that for the sake of our well-being, we should flee the scene. And that, Aquarius, was the sign I asked the spirits to send me about your life in 2008. What does it mean? That's for you to meditate on. Here's a hint: Appreciate and learn all you can from the beautiful ruckus you'll encounter, but preferably from a safe distance. And be protective of other people who may be more vulnerable or less alert than you.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): "I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's," wrote visionary poet William Blake. I suggest you write out that quote and keep it in plain sight throughout 2008. The coming months will be prime time for you to design a highly organized, richly disciplined approach to living the life you want to live, and doing it with such rigor and vigor that you will never again have to be controlled by or pay constant homage to someone else's life plan.
In addition to this column, Rob Brezsny offers EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES designed to inspire you. To buy access, go to RealAstrology.com.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss City Pages' biggest stories.
More Columns News
- Vice Tries to Bust Me
Wed., Oct. 7, 7:00pm
Thu., Oct. 8, 7:30pm
Fri., Oct. 9, 2:07pm
Fri., Oct. 9, 7:07pm
- Straight Men Who Have Sex With Men
- Savage Love