Robert Kelly

"I don't give a shit about the world, I just really care about my world," says comedian Robert Kelly. "I could give a shit about other countries and politics. I don't know, one's an elephant, one's a donkey. I voted for the black guy because he was charismatic. That's the only reason I voted for him. So am I a liberal, a Democrat, a Republican? I don't know. I have no idea. All I know is that I hold doors for people, I say 'thank you,' and I'm not a dickhead." Comedy fans might recall Kelly from his appearances on The Opie and Anthony Show, or from Dane Cook's last appearance here. "I was the second guy before Dane Cook," he laughs. After 20 years in the business, Kelly says that his set boils down to simple honesty. "I hate work, I hate writing, and I hate scheduling. I'm terrible. I have ADD. I'm just awful." And he has no interest in figuring out which of his peers are funny and which aren't. "It's like trying to tell to you Van Gogh is better than Monet. I have no idea, but it's funny that people are so angry about it. 'That's not funny!' How do you know?" 18+; 21+ later shows. (Photo by
May 26-30, 8 p.m.; May 28-29, 10:30 p.m., 2010

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