Patton Oswalt Associated Press


Patton Oswalt

July 11
8 p.m.

In recent a special, Patton Oswalt described a casino gig he once took: “It was the most money I’d ever been offered to do anything in my life or career,” he told the audience. “They weren’t offering me a profane amount of money or an obscene amount of money. They were offering me a sacrilegious amount of money. Jesus should have come down and kicked me in the face.” The casino management couldn’t have been nicer, and asked Oswalt to do a VIP meet-and-greet before the show, which he agreed to. There, he was introduced to “40 of the drunkest people I’ve ever seen—and I was in a fraternity and I’ve been to a Russian wedding.” The main audience was even more inebriated, as between the opening comic and Oswalt the casino had offered 30 minutes of cheap shots. Casino management insisted he do only 30 minutes. When Oswalt came out, the audience began to shout out everything he’s ever been in. That’s quite an extensive list. “I had my career screamed at me, agreed with it, got a standing ovation, walked off stage, and I said to myself, ‘I just paid for one year of my daughter’s college, I did not tell a single joke, and I’ve never made an audience happier.’”