“I’m a great uncle,” comedian Asif Ali tells an audience. “But I recently ruined my nephew’s birthday party, because I’m an adult and I use logic, and he’s 7.” Ali asked his nephew what kind of theme he wanted for the celebration. “Superheroes,” the boy replied. His nephew wanted to be the Incredible Hulk, to which Ali told him that there are “two things that have to happen for you to become a superhero. Hulk is not a superhero. One, you have to start off like a regular loser. Two, something awesome happens to you and you get all these cool powers and your life is clearly better.” He used Spider-Man/Peter Parker as an example. “The Incredible Hulk is Bruce Banner, a guy that’s already killing it in science. He gets into a radioactive accident, and when he gets angry he turns into a giant green dumb-ass.” A successful actor, Ali has appeared on Modern Family, New Girl, and Wrecked, which parodies Lost.