Mr. Tom Brady, meet Mr. William of Ockham
Tom Brady ripped ESPN yesterday, saying that the network's coverage of the Patriots' spying controversy is manufactured controversy. Can't we just keep news of our organization's illegal spying on opposing teams in the past, Brady asks? He alleges the typical media sensationalism.
Let's hear from Mr. Brady directly:
MR. BRADY: "I think it's a way to really sell newspapers, and all the ESPN stations, they've got to fill the air, too... It's just kind of the environment right now, though. I think that's the way that guys make it. They just say the craziest things. That's what ESPN has become. ESPN, to me, is like MTV without the videos, ESPN is without the highlights."
To rebut these comments, we've resuscitated William of Ockham, the 14th century Franciscan friar whose principle, "Occam's razor," states that the simplest explanation for a phenomenon is the most likely true explanation.
What say you, sir?
MR. OCKHAM: "The most successful NFL franchise in recent memory cheated. They admitted to the cheating. But because new information had come to light indicating the cheating might have been more widespread than previously indicated, the story got more press. Q.E. fucking D. May I go back to the grave now?"
Mr. Ockham, you've been most helpful. Mr. Brady, please go back to impregnating models and leave the media criticism to Ben Bagdikian.
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