A lot of people handle breakups wrong, trying to cushion the inevitable blow with misdirection and distraction—a meal, a long scenic walk, offers to remain friends. This is about as considerate as gently massaging salt into a shark-bite wound. Breakups are a mercenary business, and the most important considerations are practical ones: first and foremost, the opportunity for a quick getaway. There's nothing so unfortunate as saying your final goodbye only to stand awkwardly next to each other for 20 minutes waiting for the next bus. That's not to say there isn't room for atmospheric considerations in picking your break-up spot—ambiance is important. But don't confuse your partner by setting the scene of their devastation in an atmosphere of comfort. This is a bleak moment, and the best way you can help them is by driving that point home with a bleak setting. With these factors in mind, nothing really beats the parking lot of McDonald's on East Lake Street. It's grim, private to the point of desolation, and has easy access to the highway and public transit when you need to make a break for it. For best results, try 8 a.m. on a rainy day.