BEST LOCAL BOY GONE BAD - 2008
Alex Pareene's ascent has been steep and not undeserved. His first blog, dubbed "Buck Hill" and launched in 2004, deftly extolled the virtues of his native Minneapolis while skewering his classmates at NYU. It was quickly discovered by evil blog mogul Nick Denton, who within two years had compelled Pareene to drop out of college, move to D.C., and succeed Ana Marie Cox as editor of Wonkette, the cheeky, high-profile Capitol Hill gossip site. Pareene's snark had taken him far, but then he got a little too clever for his own good. Last year, Pareene started sleeping with cute-as-a-button photographer Ally Kearney. The couple were so decidedly hip that when they were robbed inside her apartment, the incident earned a write-up in the local alt-weekly. "We could've probably taken the dude," said Kearney of the intruder, who brandished nothing more than a concealed finger for a weapon, "but it just didn't seem worth it since he obviously was just, like, a 20-year-old who had never done this before and seemed pretty freaked out." There was just one wee problem with this bit of show-offery: Kearney was married. And her husband—a friend of Pareene's—learned of the affair by reading the story. The D.C. hipster scene is not a large one, and word spread quickly about Pareene's misplaced penis. Within days, after reportedly fielding threats to his person, Pareene decided it best to flee town. The notoriously black-hearted Denton, probably seeing something of his younger self in the kid, transferred him to New York, where Pareene lives and toils to this day. You can find his work on Gawker, the most undeservedly smug website on today's internet. He fits right in.