There's just something about grease—glorious, napkin-dissolving grease—that brings joy to the famished drunkard's heart (in addition to cholesterol). It's as if the soluble fat molecules bond with the ethanol coursing through your veins to create a euphoria-inducing chemical. Or maybe that's just the booze talking. Whatever the case, Downtown Pizza (a.k.a. Downtown Diner) on Fifth and Hennepin feels like the grease tray to a giant George Foreman Grill. Conveniently located on the light rail's Hennepin-Warehouse District stop, the gritty pizzeria serves up oily stromboli, calzones, gyros, and New York-style pizza by the slice to inebriated bar crawlers until the a.m. So if you strike out at the bars, you can at least curl up with a hoagie during your train ride home.