Whoever first observed that location is everything obviously never stepped inside the Fetus. Our community's most venerable purveyor of pre-recorded audio media couldn't be tucked into an odder pocket. How to explain its 40 years of glorious success? "Parking, parking, parking!" maybe, or better still, "inventory, inventory, inventory!" Sure, Cheapo boasts more square footage, Treehouse and Roadrunner have way more to offer adventurous listeners, and neither Vital Vinyl nor Fifth Element are touchable in dance music and hip hop, respectively. But the Fetus has incomparable range—especially in rock and jazz—not to mention a ridiculously sale-infested calendar, an unusually fertile used section, steadily swelling vinyl bins, and a dazzling array of gifts and "lifestyle accessories" that has served as ancillary customer bait since the store opened its doors in 1968. At a loss for a last-minute wedding gift? Pick up a copy of Harry Smith's sumptuous Anthology of American Folk Music ($80.72), and toss in a scented candle and/or bong. You'll have the lucky couple thinking you're the smartest thing in the universe for the rest of their natural days...unless they split and have to decide who gets which discs.