SEX & DRUGS & ROCK & ROLL >>

• BEST ACOUSTIC PERFORMER
  Walk into St. Paul's Turf Club one Sunday night a month, and you'll be treated to an old-timey hootenanny radio broadcast, the likes of which may have never taken place around these parts before. Reminiscent of flatbed-truck revival meetings hosted by Bob Wills and the Carter Family and/or Hank... More >>
• BEST ADULT VIDEO STORE
  We were tempted to give this award to Zombie's House of Curiosities on University in St. Paul for its unparalleled kitsch value: It's a classic head shop that carries pipes, water bongs, throwing stars, and—in a back room—uproariously trashy smut. But then we stumbled across the... More >>
• BEST ALBUM OF THE PAST 12 MONTHS
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we went with the obvious choice. (We were all ready to crown Prince's new best-of, Ultimate, when we found out its release had been delayed.) But there's something to be said for such an easy decision. The fact that we uncontrollably bob our heads whenever we find the duo in... More >>
• BEST ALL-AGES VENUE
  The under-21 music scene is as diverse as any other kind, with a host of small venues catering to young people—community centers, bars with all-ages nights, high school cafés. Yet only one club in town has shows every weekend without age or genre restrictions. Founded in 1999 with... More >>
• BEST BAND NAME
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• BEST BAND NAME (SECOND PLACE)
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• BEST BAND NAME (THIRD PLACE)
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• BEST BAND TO BREAK UP IN THE PAST 12 MONTHS
  So the City Pages "Best Rock Band" of 2003 and 2005 is now the "best ex-band" of 2006—a boring choice, maybe, but the right one. Unlike others who broke up in '05 (the Jayhawks, Martyr A.D., Tulip Sweet and Her Trail of Tears), the Midnight Evils went out loud. They were, to the end, a... More >>
• BEST BAR YOU CAN SMOKE IN
  In the immediate aftermath of the March 31, 2005 Minneapolis smoking ban, the only discernible detrimental effect in most local bars was the thick scent of stale beer and piss wafting through the slowly dissipating, formerly fortified smokescreen. Once winter hit, it was the... More >>
• BEST BARTENDER
  Long ago, the epicenter of sin in the Twin Cities was located along Interstate 494 in the south metro, a forgotten land called the "Bloomington Strip." It was the early 1970s, when a twentysomething immigrant from Lebanon started slinging drinks for the legendary Purple People Eaters at the Left... More >>
• BEST BEER SELECTION IN A BAR
  The category isn't "Best Bar" or even "Best Atmosphere at a Bar;" it's "Best Beer Selection," and Williams is like that rich kid in high school rolling around in a new H2. He's pretty full of himself, but damned if he's not going to be homecoming king with a "10" for a queen while you're stuck... More >>
• BEST BLOODY MARY
  Once upon a time in Minneapolis history, this greasy-spoon diner was a popular destination for visiting musicians—and really, what is more rock 'n' roll than drinking alcohol first thing in the morning? It's undeniably the best time to order up a Bloody Mary from the Uptown Bar and... More >>
• BEST BLUES BAND
  To understand the refined qualities of the Butanes, all you really have to know is that New Orleans native Earl King, the late singer, guitarist, and eccentric genius who wrote such Crescent City nuggets as "Big Chief" and "Trick Bag," adopted these Minnesotans as his band of choice and took... More >>
• BEST BLUES BAR
  Blues is the backbone of the live music scene—check out the calendar at www.mnblues.com for at least 10 events per night. What gives Famous Dave's the edge is reliable booking of national acts (Muddy Waters's buddy Steady Rollin' Bob Margolin, Detroit blues queen Alberta Adams, Roomful of... More >>
• BEST CLUB DJ
  The highly competitive electronic music community has had one big glow stick up its ass for years, taking itself seriously despite a ridiculous history that includes elephant-legged phat pants, candy necklaces, and liquid-style dancing. Crushing notions of meticulously preplanned three-hour sets... More >>
• BEST COCKTAILS
  The Red Dragon is a dive bar and restaurant that somehow manages to have a certain pseudo-poshness thanks to its 1920s Japanese gangster decor and woodwork. The jukebox is usually loud enough to drown out the worst pickup lines, but there's also a more quiet back room with tables long enough to... More >>
• BEST CONCERT OF THE PAST 12 MONTHS (LOCAL)
  So many nights spent at the Entry/Turf/Triple Rock seeing Mallman/P.O.S./STNNNG and winding up drunk/partly clothed/dancing 'til dawn make for a lot of blurry recollections. Michael and Katie Gaughan plan their family-friendly events with the express purpose of having their fans remember. That's... More >>
• BEST CONCERT OF THE PAST 12 MONTHS (TOURING)
  Admit it. When you first heard the Go! Team's cartoon-crazy debut, Thunder, Lightning, Strike, you figured the band was a bunch of cute little Asian cheerleaders teeny-bopping through their uncle's record collection—an anime-on-acid waltz with equal measures of the Jackson 5 and Scooby... More >>
• BEST CONCERT VENUE
  You expect intimacy in a 385-seat space, but the McGuire's steep, raked seating—the first row is right at stage level, and even the back row looms close to the action—puts the performers in the audience's lap, with superb sight lines and a cutting-edge acoustical design to further... More >>
• BEST DANCE CLUB
  Downtown Minneapolis has entered an era of decadence unsurpassed in its long history—we'd tell you more, but the Humvee limo is waiting outside, and it runs out of gas in about 30 seconds. So consider Level a throwback to a time before VIP-everything: namely, the early '90s, when Level's... More >>
• BEST GAY BAR, BEST LESBIAN BAR
  Could the Cities' best gay bar and best lesbian bar be the same place? Though we traditionally separate the sexes when it comes to picking the ultimate GLBT hangouts, this boy-girl bar is the perennial favorite. The long-lived Town House attracts a mixed crowd and offers the best of many worlds:... More >>
• BEST HAPPY HOUR
  The great sushi war currently raging in downtown Minneapolis has resulted in an East-meets-West dining experience worth shouting about: sushi happy hour. Normally, Japanese is a dish best served to small appetites with deep pockets. At three or four bucks a roll, however, even the most... More >>
• BEST HIP-HOP ARTIST
  For a couple of months after its August release on Rhymesayers, I Self Devine's Self Destruction seemed to be everywhere. "Ice Cold," the lead single, blasted out of speakers at First Avenue during the Twin Cities Celebration of Hip Hop, rattled from car windows on Lake Street, and went into... More >>
• BEST HIP-HOP DJ
  It's hard to imagine the entire hip-hop scene agreeing with this choice—even humble Willy Lose himself, or his fellow Unknown Prophets. There are too many battle champions (Jimmy2Times), radio stars (Disco T), and absent legends (IXL). Yet what Lose has, and what others don't, is a new rap... More >>
• BEST IRISH PUB
  Is it possible that the Local is simply too swank of a joint to qualify as the best place in town to drink alcoholic beverages of Irish derivation? With its beautiful, dark wood bar, elegant windows, white-shirted bartenders, and $5.50 pints, it's hardly the kind of joint to attract Paddy... More >>
• BEST JAZZ ARTIST
  Phil Hey is not the first guy you notice onstage. First of all, he's a drummer, and he doesn't bash like the late Buddy Rich, or indulge in marathon solos, or play that much arty "free jazz." But it's no coincidence that when Phil Hey is the one keeping time, a wealth of rhythmic possibilities... More >>
• BEST JAZZ CLUB
  The Dakota and jazz have history. Between opening in Bandana Square in 1985 and reopening on Nicollet Mall in 2003, the club saw a world of music pass through its doors. George Benson made the Dakota his informal jamming spot. Mourners gathered there to remember "Captain" Jack McDuff. The new... More >>
• BEST JUKEBOX
  Death to digital jukeboxes! Those 50-cents-per-Top-40-single vending machines are proof that digital distribution of music really can be evil—and we ain't talking about LimeWire or BitTorrent. The real jukebox experience is one that lets you browse album covers, offering up every track (at... More >>
• BEST KARAOKE
  You can't throw a rock in this town without hitting a karaoke night. This probably has something to do with the fact that when you throw that rock, you'll probably nail some poor musician as well. And that sad, injured bassist is probably on her way to Staraoke at Grumpy's downtown. Why... More >>
• BEST LINGERIE
  Victoria's Secret is what it is—reliable, limited, and increasingly boring (not quite vanilla-utilitarian Maidenform, but getting there). Sixty-year-old Frederick's of Hollywood is lingerie without shame (one bra is named "Hollywood Extreme Cleavage"), and more accommodating to a range of... More >>
• BEST LIVE ARTIST
  Sweet J.A.P. were an energetic five-piece garage rock band who were barely restrained by the stages they played. So you'd think Birthday Suits, composed of less than half of the old band's lineup, would be able to keep things more contained, right? Wrong. So, so wrong. Hideo Takahashi explores... More >>
• BEST LOCAL MUSIC COMPILATION
  This little CD has a big heart, and in most cases that translates into an overstated album that gets crushed under the weight of its purpose. But Friends with Benefits works because its bands—mostly proven indie-rock and fuzz-pop groups (Mike Gunther, the Deaths) with a couple of fresh... More >>
• BEST LOCAL RECORD LABEL
  With 19 bands on its roster and around 30 releases in its catalog, Modern Radio has been a staple in the Twin Cities music community since 1999. Owner and driving force Tom Loftus has a fantastic ear for talent, and he goes out of his way to make sure that other people hear it, too. Bringing us... More >>
• BEST LOCALLY CREATED COCKTAIL
  In the past decade, there has been a wealth of ingenious mixological creations in the Twin Cities. There's the tropical, citrusy, utterly debauched Kama Sutra Mama at Chino Latino. Martini Blu has a delicious signature drink, a mix of orange vodka, sake, blue curacao, and pineapple juice called... More >>
• BEST MARGARITA
  Margaritas are usually pricey drinks—order one at any restaurant and you can expect to part with enough cash to pay for an entire meal. Which is why it's disappointing when something mediocre, stale, overly sweet or tart, or from a plastic bottle arrives in a salt-rimmed glass. Rest... More >>
• BEST MARTINI
  Peruse a martini menu at any trendy bar around town and you may see items that are far from an actual martini—drinks that are watered down with "secret ingredients" like artificially-flavored fruit juice, drinks that don't even contain hard liquor, and drinks that call themselves martinis... More >>
• BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR—MINNEAPOLIS
  Combine cheap beer, a rec room atmosphere, and a sloppy, tasty batch of chili cheese fries and you've got yourself a pretty nice little neighborhood hangout. Head to Spring Street Tavern on a Saturday and grab some really cheap beer (read: $5 for a pitcher of Premium) and you've got the best... More >>
• BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR—ST. PAUL
  A great neighborhood bar needs to have a certain aura. It can't be too crowded, it's gotta have some decent food, it needs to be cozy and homey, but you should still be able to cut loose. This St. Paul not-so-secret has it all in spades. Decked out like an English pub, but without all that pesky... More >>
• BEST NEW BAND
  Hardcore punk isn't supposed to be surprising anymore. King Kong covering Judas Priest is nearly the standard sound. But on a good new compilation, Twin Cities Hardcore: Bring It Together (TCHardcoreJournal.com), one group's holler is more blurt than growl. "In high school I was a punching... More >>
• BEST OLD BAND
  Although Salamander have been together in one configuration or another since guitarists Sean Connaughty and Erik Wivinus first started collaborating in 1992, last year's Bent Hemlock is a promising new portent for a band usually welcomed more warmly on out-of-town radio stations and concert... More >>
• BEST OPEN BAR/PATIO
  The era of the smoking ban here in the Twin Cities produced an unlikely by-product: Can anyone remember a year that saw a bigger proliferation of patios at drinking establishments across the metro? Some, of course, were nothing but makeshift shanties, little awnings propped up above back doors... More >>
• BEST OPEN-MIC FOR COMEDY
  Tuesdays through Saturdays at this Warehouse District basement club are reserved for big-name locals (like Dave Mordahl and Darlene Westgor), talk-show circuit veterans, and B-plus-list coastal types. Which is all well and good, but in the age of Arrested Development and The Office, the real... More >>
• BEST OPEN-MIC NIGHT
  Is there a mic more open than that of the Poets' Groove at the Blue Nile? With a 10:00 p.m. signup on Tuesdays, the night is more casual than the Southern Theater's Balls Cabaret on Saturdays (which requires prior arrangement by phone), and the spectacle is as unpredictable. For three years,... More >>
• BEST R&B ARTIST
  Unlike the younger generation of Bunker's bands—Kip Blackshire, the New Congress—Mick Sterling makes no pretension of connecting with the contemporary universe of black pop. His music is a blues fan's R&B. "I'm a meat-and-potatoes kind of singer," he writes in his highly readable... More >>
• BEST ROCK BAND
  In an area filled to the brim with extraordinarily talented musicians, it's no easy task to pick one single band that is "The Best." But Sicbay, having recently celebrated their seventh anniversary, are overdue for some well-deserved attention. Having released three full-length albums, an EP,... More >>
• BEST ROCK CLUB
  This time last year, hipsters were all aflutter about the impending doom of this much loved venue. The Turf Club had changed hands—bought by a guy who ran Irish pubs, no less!—and the Clown Lounge had been stripped of all its disquieting Barnum and Bailey flair. But as with the... More >>
• BEST SALSA NIGHT
  Expanding and renovating the legendary Vannandy's dance hall four years ago, El Nuevo Rodeo improved just about everything—security, food, decor, and music. Now the restaurant serves rare dishes from 10:00 a.m. to 3:30 a.m. (brunch to after-bar), while the competitively booked live music... More >>
• BEST SECRET JAZZ RESOURCE
  In college, Scott Hreha sated thrill-hungry jazz fans by booking artists like Peter Brotzmann and Susie Ibarra as part of the U of M student organization/DIY booking agency, Tone Scientists. Meanwhile, he was building a website to house concert photos, record reviews, and essays on jazz history.... More >>
• BEST SONGWRITER
  As Jimmy Jam points out, "producer" is just another word for songwriter. If you provide a singer with lyrics, melodies, arrangements, and samples, you're not just an engineer. P.O.S. produced most of his wildly ambitious new hip-hop album, Audition (Doomtree/Rhymesayers), as well as wrote the... More >>
• BEST STRIP CLUB
  There's something oddly comforting about cozying up next to a stripper you could probably hit on if you saw her out at the bar some random night. If you want the Scores of the Twin Cities, go to Seville or Sheik's: all low-level, modern, tinted lighting and faux-burlesque chic, with the... More >>
• BEST VOCALIST (FEMALE)
  Like fellow prairie bohemians Haley Bonar and Sara Softich, or Texas cult diva Jolie Holland, the Roe Family Singers are the new wave of old-time. They play traditional-sounding originals rooted in bluegrass, folk, and genres once labeled "hillbilly" and "race" when they were 78s—but with... More >>
• BEST VOCALIST (MALE)
  Maybe it's because he really is shaped like a bowling ball (even Kirby Puckett was never quite this round), but the sounds that come out of Robert Robinson's mouth have an especially vivid resonance and profundity of tone. Without a hint of strain, his voice envelops the room, and even old... More >>