In the post-apocalyptic movie version, Northeast's beleaguered Apache Plaza would be a prison colony run by feuding overlords played by Kurt Russell and Dolph Lundgren. As it is, however, the mall that was once a bright and shining star on the local shopping scene--a pioneer, for God's sake, granddaddy to the behemoths that have ensured its extinction--is now little but a roundly ignored object lesson for the panderers of local progress. These days Apache Plaza is treading water and waiting for the end of the world, home to the occasional gun show and the least ambitious and most masochistic mall workers in the world. You could literally count the mall's present roster of tenants on one hand: Herberger's, Anderson Furniture, Apache Coin, and Coach's Corner (and the mighty Herberger's is more or less an anchor without a ship at this point). It's virtually certain that the old mall will have a date with the wrecking ball sometime in the near future, but for now nothing is imminent. Which means there's still time for you to pay your respects to a monument to America's infatuation with sprawl.