BEST LOCAL GIRL GONE BAD - 2003
More like "Best Local Girl Returned to Anonymity, Where She Belongs." But recall that Mowery, the local bartender--or "customer service representative," as she likes to think of it--with the longshoreman's vocabulary, had a brief moment of notoriety as a finalist on Fox's wonderfully despicable reality show Joe Millionaire. When Mowery was finally given the boot, the show's ersatz prince charming explained, "She was cute and everything, but there was just something not there. I couldn't put my finger on it." Okay, you big slab of dumb, let us try. First off, Mowery seems not to know the difference between "mercenary" and "missionary" (which is actually perfectly congruent with the show's premise, if you think about it). And worse, if Mowery chose to leverage her dignity, expose herself to odium in front of millions, and hasten civilization's headlong race to the gutter, at least she should have gotten the bling. But perhaps that's too harsh. At least Mowery gave the Strib's poor, celebrity-forsaken C.J. column fodder for a few weeks.