Life is a carnival. With that realization, it dawns on us that we no longer have any excuse for avoiding the Mall of America. Good thing we don't have to do so on an empty stomach. Though the mall is home to far too many eating options, our favorite is the original food court, where one can assemble mix-and-mismatch combo platters no one in their right mind would serve, much less eat. Like, say, cheese curds from Minnesota Picnic, vegetarian egg rolls from Hibachi-San, a fish taco from the Baja Tortilla Grill, and, to wash it all down, a root-beer float from A&W. If that's not your style, there's plenty more to choose from: pizza (Sbarro), sushi (Kato's Grille), Chinese food (Panda Express), corn dogs (uh, Corn Dogs Plus)... If you've got time to kill and don't mind waiting in line, belly up to Johnny Rockets for a burger and a malt and reflect on the sheer audacity of capitalism.