SEX & DRUGS & ROCK & ROLL >>

• BEST ACOUSTIC PERFORMER
  Having reportedly recorded an entire follow-up to his 1997 debut and scrapped it, dissatisfied with the results, Mason Jennings can hardly be accused of glibly capitalizing on his local popularity. He wants things done just right, it seems. And he still leads his Mason Jennings Band with a rock... More >>
• BEST ADULT VIDEO STORE
  Do the words "clean porn shop" belong in the oxymoron hall of fame? Before making a final decision, those relegated to a lifetime of purchasing erotic material off the anonymous, sterile Internet would be wise to stop by Lickety Split. This is the only adult video/book store in town that can... More >>
• BEST ALBUM OF THE PAST 12 MONTHS
  Honorable mentions just disappoint the unmentioned, so let's just say it was an unusually tough year to pick just one best local album--a good sign. With discs from (oh, hell) Trailer Trash, Grant Hart, Mint Condition, Lifter Puller, and others winning serious stereo time with critics... More >>
• BEST ALL-AGES VENUE
  Amid the meat lockers and parking emporiums that make up the bloated beer garden formerly known as downtown, there is one tiny cause for guarded optimism: In two short years, the Foxfire has already become a fixture on the Minneapolis music scene. Our local emo-punk minirevival can be... More >>
• BEST BAND NAME
  Dark, growling, pornographic, stunted, and thoroughly underground, Twin Cities heavy metal never had a more succinctly off-putting band title than Anal Blast, Satan love 'em. You'll find the band's CD, Vaginal Vempire, at the heavy music label-cum-disc shack off of East Lake Street in... More >>
• BEST BAND TO BREAK UP IN THE PAST 12 MONTHS
  Though they haven't officially bought the farm, things won't be the same for local country wonders Trailer Trash. Frontman Nate Dungan says the band will keep its half-dozen scheduled wedding gigs this year and return for a Christmas show at Lee's Liquor Lounge. But the band as a live, local... More >>
• BEST BAND TO LEAVE THE TWIN CITIES IN THE PAST 12 MONTHS
  Except she keeps coming back. Not that fans are complaining. After leaving Tina & the B-Sides last fall with a three-night farewell of roots-blues-rock at the Cabooze, frontwoman Tina Schlieske flew to England, then returned home for the holidays and a gig with her cover-band/B-Sides alter... More >>
• BEST BEER SELECTION IN A BAR
  "Best" doesn't always mean "most." No, Bryant-Lake Bowl does not offer every beer known to man or woman. But they do have a mighty liberal selection of fine, high-quality beers. The tap beers ($3.75) include a nice array of local brands (two each from Summit and James Page, plus one from... More >>
• BEST BIKER BLOCK
  Bob's Java Hut has held the title of "Best Biker Bar" for the past two years--what with their fine, strong coffee and that nifty front wall that slides up just like a garage door. (This wouldn't seem to match the Hoover Dam as an engineering feat of the 20th Century...but we digress). And so... More >>
• BEST BLUES BAND
  Young guitarist Mato Nanji and his siblings are still more beloved by famous people and unfamous critics than they are by a mass audience. But that list of famous people happens to include some pretty tasteful blues scholars, such as Bonnie Raitt. (True, that same list includes some shrilling... More >>
• BEST CLUB DJ
  Danny Shaffer is that rare local club DJ whose pacing at the tables emulates flirty, provocative foreplay rather than wham-bam-tip-your-bartender-ma'am crowd pleasing. He'll drop the occasional jungle cut into his Sunday sets at the The Saloon while working the thin line between house and... More >>
• BEST COCKTAILS
  Unless you're some sort of preternaturally well-adjusted person, you've probably found yourself at the end of a day when all you'd like is to go someplace where you can forget everything in the company of a good cocktail. The St. Paul Grill Bar is that place. To enter is to be enveloped by the... More >>
• BEST CONCERT OF THE PAST 12 MONTHS
  DJ Shadow (a.k.a. Josh Davis) is the most overrated beat-splicer in the turntable trade. Last fall, though, those of us at the Quest had the privilege to see him come damn close to living up to his giant rep. Shadow spun a DJ set that made the long, pretentious intricacies of his artier grooves... More >>
• BEST CONCERT VENUE
  The First Avenue Mainroom boasts the richest rock legacy, Orchestra Hall claims the creamiest acoustics, and the Orpheum wins points for architectural significance. But when it comes to intimate, instantly memorable performance spaces, the BLB's cozy under-100 seater rules the local lot.... More >>
• BEST DANCE CLUB
  One never likes to damn with faint praise, but deciding the "Best Dance Club" in the Twin Cities is a little bit like deciding the "Best One-Hit Eighties Pop Star Named Tiffany"--an exercise rendered empty by its obviousness. The Front is fine for what it is--a bar with delusions of grandeur.... More >>
• BEST GAY BAR
  The scene at the Gay 90's just hasn't been the same since hordes of heterosexuals discovered the La Femme drag revue. And certainly, there are newer, perhaps more elegant bars catering to a gay male clientele, like the posh Boom on East Hennepin. But there's just something comfortable about the... More >>
• BEST HAPPY HOUR
  Yes, it smells like an ashtray. Yes, the décor is reminiscent of an American Legion hall circa 1985. And yes, that is Kid Rock blaring over the speakers. But sometimes conversation is superfluous. Sometimes you can't stomach another trendy, overpriced martini-and-cigar bar. And sometimes... More >>
• BEST HIGH SCHOOL BAND
  The release of Antidisestablishmetabolism, the first disc from these St. Paul Central High polyrhythm practitioners would have been an event by itself--the culmination of a year of sweaty, hilarious Bon Appétit slams and a deservedly burgeoning rep. But February's CD-release show at the... More >>
• BEST HIP-HOP DJ
  As with his mates in Atmosphere, Abilities keeps such a high profile in the Cities that you might think his rep is overinflated. But as with his mates in Atmosphere, his skills are too undeniable for backlash to gain any currency. Not only does his mix tape, Finally, display the abilities he's... More >>
• BEST JAZZ ARTIST
  Skeptics insist that if Happy Apple drummer Dave King weren't such a talented between-song yapper (his monologues are more Spalding Gray than Lester Young) and enthusiastic networker (he plays in 543 other bands) or if Apple--music aside--didn't look and act so hip and hop (stocking caps,... More >>
• BEST JUKEBOX
  The temptation to give this category to some vintage jukebox spinning old 45s is strong, but the Triple Rock's giant, impossibly diverse trove of CDs represents something a bit more salient: a challenge. Find another jukebox where you can program Bikini Kill's "Rebel Girl," Screamin' Jay... More >>
• BEST KARAOKE
  In a city where speakers and microphones are practically handed out with liquor licenses, the criteria used to determine karaoke excellence must be strict. After eliminating bars where the bulk of the song list is music most often sold in truck-stop cassette bins, many local karaoke facilities... More >>
• BEST LESBIAN BAR
  No one wanders into Club Metro by accident. If you can find the place, squatting off the main streets on what looks like an industrial service road, you can't miss the neon rainbows. And if you miss the neon rainbows, it's difficult to overlook the out clientele (which makes the large... More >>
• BEST MARGARITA (CLASSIC)
  Okay, okay. So it's dull to whip out the same superlatives year after year to describe the same spot as purveyor of the best of anything. But when it comes to the La Señora margarita at this family-owned West Side institution, we can't help it. Because year after year, like overexcited... More >>
• BEST MARGARITA (REINVENTED)
  Between the buckskin-colored walls and the rich cherry-hued wood booths, the entire bar area fairly sparkles at this little chunk of the New West right here in the Minneapple. So it should come as no surprise that the cocktails described on Bar Abilene's two-page margarita menu come to the... More >>
• BEST MARTINI
  The liquor proletariat has slammed TOC for its downtown prices and decidedly loose definition of a martini (not to mention its continuous milking of the shapely cocktail's vogue, which appears to be fast on the wane). But let's face it: "Real" martinis are for balding Forbes subscribers and... More >>
• BEST MEAT RAFFLE
  Applying the term "best" to any meat raffle is a bit of an oxymoron, since the title this long-standing Nordeast custom truly deserves is "Best Racket." If you've never been to one, here's how it works: A guy lugs in a big cooler and sets up the contents for display: stuffed pork chops, chicken... More >>
• BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR--MINNEAPOLIS
  There's a sign hanging behind the bar at Eli's that pretty much sums it up: "Where the regular people feel special and the special people feel regular." Damn straight. Even though Eli's sits at the southwestern edge of downtown, not far from Loring Park, there's a decidedly comfortable,... More >>
• BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR--ST. PAUL
  The Dubliner is a spacious, unpretentious Irish pub populated by neighborhood regulars and Irish expatriates. When there isn't live Irish music being performed on a small platform across the room from the long, wooden bar, you can hear the expats jawing away their workaday woes or reminiscing... More >>
• BEST NEW BAND
  Okay, so the local music scene hasn't exactly been fallow over the past decade, but it's hardly been breaking new ground either--even our most distinctive acts have played catch-up with national trends best exemplified elsewhere. But with the computer-generated pop of Triangle, our towns are... More >>
• BEST OLD BAND
  The Phones were part of that sudden rush of bright, tight, energetic local bands that came out of the Longhorn-Sweet Potato-First Avenue-Twin/Tone cauldron of postpunk culture at the start of the Reagan era. It was a best-of/worst-of-times type deal. Politics had gone right wing; television... More >>
• BEST OPEN-MIC NIGHT
  After another year of bringing the best in experimental dance, music, theater, and what-have-you to the Southern Theater in Minneapolis, this perennial favorite again wins the golden mic award. Hosted by charming chanteuse and ubiquitous local-arts activist Leslie Ball, Balls gives five to... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO GET A DRINK AT 8:00 A.M.
  A few caveats before we begin. With this recommendation, we assume that you, gentle reader: 1) work third shift; 2) are suffering terrible-but-temporary emotional storms following a breakup; 3) have made it your personal mission to utter--once--the phrase "Beer: It's not just for breakfast"... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE MEN (GAY)
  "Do you mean scum?" Person One asks. "If you mean scum, try the Saloon." "Well, everyone knows about Lunds on Sunday morning," says Person Two. We're standing in Calhoun Square just outside Starbucks talking about where the boys are, and he points to the Borders across the hall--"And there."... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE MEN (STRAIGHT)
  Now, when it comes to categorizing the eager, not-so-young businessmen who take lunch at Origami's sushi bar, everything turns on your interpretation of the word single. Do we mean available? Definitely. Interested in sending some sake your way, and perhaps underwriting a slab of unagi? Most... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE WOMEN (LESBIAN)
  Anyplace that has three cookie jars laden with hunky treats and three types of mocha (dark, white, and Hershey's) qualifies as a great hangout. As a bonus, there are more cute, friendly, young people at Café Wyrd than at an Up With People rally. (Some of them are young men, but the first... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE WOMEN (STRAIGHT)
  Somewhere, in a room thick with cigarette smoke, women of all ages, shapes, and sizes are shakin' their moneymakers like there's no tomorrow. They dance alone, with one another, in pairs and in groups and sometimes, intoxicated by euphoric memories and 2-for-1 Bud Lights, with an unsuspecting... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO SALSA
  Latin dance nights have loomed grande in downtown Minneapolis ever since salsa eclipsed swing as the rigorous couple dance du jour. But salsa kings and queens seeking cutting-edge Spanish-language techno and live Mexican dance music should tool down East Lake to Vannandy's restaurant and... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO SEE BLUEGRASS
  To a lot of folks, bluegrass is out of place just about everywhere--anachronistic in its instrumentation, themes, and values. And the little stage in the back of a shabby Lake Street pizza and karaoke joint would seem a particularly unlikely spot. But Dulono's Pizza has long been a pillar of... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO TANGO
  Yes, Morticia, there is a tango community in Minnesota--and quite a healthy one at that. And no, we flat-footed, body-shy Midwesterners do not necessarily recoil and run when asked to touch (much less dance with) someone we are not married to. Indeed, we are quite good at imitation (if we are... More >>
• BEST POOL HALL
  Any seasoned shark will tell you that the game of pool is all about placement. Any weekend hacker will tell you that choosing a place to shoot stick is all about the same. Sure, you could drive to the 'burbs for the scenery. Hustlers are more abundant in some more out-of-the-way establishments,... More >>
• BEST POP GROUP
  What seemed merely cute and novel a year and a half ago is starting to look like the next force for rejuvenation in local pop--though, admittedly, the brow-furrowed Walker Kong and his smiling Dangermakers remain as cute as ever. If rockers can't get behind the vintage organs, the oh-wee-oh... More >>
• BEST R&B BAND
  With the lamentable split-up of Tony! Toni! Toné!, St. Paul's Mint Condition are also the only best-selling purveyors of contemporary R&B anywhere that you can call a band. That is to say this sextet play guitars, bass, drums, keyboards, and horns, just like in the old days, rather... More >>
• BEST RAP GROUP
  Hip-hop bigness is part art, part the art of public relations. So let's measure "best" in terms of cold, hard hype. To wit, The Source and Vibe love Little Buddy, whose "What's the Haps" is perhaps the biggest-selling local rap single ever. An album is on the way. Blaze and Spin, meanwhile,... More >>
• BEST RAP RADIO
  The Point's new slogan is "Today's best music, with no rap or hip hop," which is a little like saying, "Today's best movies, with no directors or stars." Thankfully, locals interested in more than 50 percent of the vital music out there can hear great hip hop nearly round the clock Friday and... More >>
• BEST ROCK BAND
  The marble-mouthed stream-of-unconsciousness ranting of Lifter Puller headman Craig Finn makes this one of the most pleasurable postpunk vehicles to cruise local stages in recent years. On Fiestas and Fiascos, the band's third album and smoothest to date, Finn and the gang sing songs about... More >>
• BEST ROCK CLUB
  Okay, bad things first: The perennial torrent of grumbles emerging from the club make it sound about as convivial a place to work as your average gulag, a fact sneering staffers take out on anyone foolish enough to get in their way. Countless organizational shake-ups, a mess of an in-house mag,... More >>
• BEST RUMOR ON THE LOCAL MUSIC SCENE
  Though it had a life span of less than 24 hours, the erroneous "news" that First Avenue would be relocating to the outlying suburb of Blaine had the merit of actually being broadcast regionwide one morning on WCCO-TV (Channel 4), with a live shot from outside the big black bus station shot the... More >>
• BEST SONGWRITER
  Tulip Sweet and Her Trail of Tears are damned and sainted with the same descriptive tag: "thespian." This seems to imply that the band and its frontwoman, Steph Dickson, value drama over what's called "songcraft," presence over substance. Sure, it's hard to argue there isn't a good actor behind... More >>
• BEST STRIP CLUB (FEMALE DANCERS)
  Let's face it. When you go to see exotic female dancers, you don't want to go to some hyped-up, franchised, McDonaldized club five blocks from your office. You want a strip joint. You want some little place tucked away in a rural area where you're not likely to be seen by your boss, minister,... More >>
• BEST STRIP CLUB (MALE DANCERS)
  This year, we resolved that the male of the species needn't have all the fun in the strip-club category, and so in this space any discussion of the dude-directed acts at Gay 90's or Club Metro's Friday-night show has been strictly excluded. (And, yes, we know about the secret room at the 90's,... More >>
• BEST VOCALIST (FEMALE)
  It's not just that Judy Collins vibrato--so assured, so second-nature, and never really precious. And it's not that post-Ani delivery, with the funky stops and starts, bent words, and hard R's. She's a DiFrancophile, alright, but Brenda Weiler's own rapt following--at countless coffee shops and... More >>
• BEST VOCALIST (MALE)
  A friend says ex-Odd keyboardist Mark Mallman made clubgoing fun again this year, and we won't argue. Eleven months after City Pages took a long look at this largely ignored showman and shut-in, "Mall Man" made the evening news in September by playing a 26.2-hour song (titled, appropriately,... More >>