BEST PLACE TO DUMP SOMEONE - 2000
The sagacious Billy Corgan once said the fall from our expectations and idealism is much harsher than the fall from reality. Using this as our koan, it is only appropriate that Apache Mall, once one of only two indoor malls in the world but now nothing more than a sad relic, serve as the sayonara point. As you stroll through the nearly abandoned corridors of the lone store of note, Herberger's, the poignant symbolism will not be lost on your soon-to-be-former significant other. And while breaking up is always hard to do, take comfort, gentle dumper, in knowing that every spirit, regardless of how deep a sorrow it may bear, is immediately raised upon leaving the Mall de Apache.