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BEST CHRONIC VANDALISM Minneapolis 2000 -

If a new Cotty Lowry poster goes up the day you read this, trust that by nightfall it will be transformed. Vandals will have used thick black markers and spray paint to add a mustache or beard, big ears, horns, and maybe a pig snout or eye makeup to the face of the smiling Coldwell Banker Burnet realtor. After that the words will come: In January, a cartoon talk bubble declared, "Happy New Year, Bitch" above a lipsticked Lowry head, but our favorite was the long-running: "DO YOU ROCK AS I DO?" And no, it would be hard to rock as Lowry does. His name is on what seems like every other For Sale sign in the western half of the city, and he has a sense of humor to boot. "The best is the 3-D graffiti," he told Mpls.St.Paul magazine last year. "They've turned me into Goldilocks with real gold braids. Then there was what I called the 'full-body Cotty.' They added some anatomy... It must've been three feet long." Lowry--who picks up the $7,000 annual tab for replacing the poster every six to ten weeks--says he often gets calls from people, even competitors, alerting him to the latest transformation, and he remains unfazed. Those eye patches, one-nostriled noses and pointy fangs have reeled in many a customer.

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