THE CITY GRITTY >>

• BEST BAD TIMING
  The day after the Vikings' dismal loss in the NFC title game, McCombs's lieutenants met with state officials to begin pressing their case for a new stadium. It's only a matter of time until Vegas posts odds on how much longer the team will stay in town. More >>
• BEST BANK
  First Bank is now USBank. Norwest will soon be Wells Fargo. With commercial banks in these parts morphing faster than the marquee at your local multiplex, finding an inexpensive place to stash your cash is becoming harder by the day. And although most banks offer some kind of free account,... More >>
• BEST BILLBOARD
  It's hard to miss the simple, startling billboard at the intersection of University Avenue and Vandalia Street in St. Paul. Against a black backdrop, the white lettering carries this message: "Will the road you're on get you to my place? --God." Apparently His last ad agency wasn't getting the... More >>
• BEST BOONDOGGLE
  When this block on the south end of Nicollet Mall is gone, Minneapolis will have taken yet another giant step toward looking exactly like downtown Houston. More >>
• BEST CAR WASH
  The last time we sent a vehicle through Central Car Wash's sudsy vault, an old woman approached us at the observation windows and chirped, "It's fun to watch, isn't it? I've been coming here for 30 years!" And it is oddly fascinating to observe the high-pressure hose boiling away road dirt and... More >>
• BEST CAREER MOVE
  From the stewardship of the Minneapolis Community Development Agency--where her job involved negotiating with private developers on behalf of the city--to an executive post with Ryan Companies Inc.--where her job will almost certainly involve negotiating with the city on behalf of a private... More >>
• BEST CEMETERY
  The older one gets, the more dead people one knows. Which not only means more funerals, but also more gravesite visits. After a while you begin to figure out that it's really all about you--that is to say, about your comfort and convenience. What difference does it make to the dearly departed... More >>
• BEST CHARITY
  This plucky nonprofit, nonsectarian group flies teams of health professionals into war-torn areas like Macedonia, Bosnia, Rwanda, and Somalia. Though they'll do triage work in camps with recently displaced refugees, their focus whenever possible is to bolster existing indigenous healthcare... More >>
• BEST CHEAP THRILL
  When it comes to quickening the pulse, nothing quite matches the thrill of exercising one's constitutional right on the spur of the moment. Last year 15.79 percent of the Minnesotans who voted in the November election took advantage of this little perk--the highest percentage to have done so in... More >>
• BEST COFFEE HOUSE
  You can't toss a cup of decaf double latte in South Minneapolis without hitting a coffee house. Even in this glutted market, Anodyne stands out--partially because of the distinctive façade that juts out over Nicollet Avenue like the bow of a wrecked Spanish galleon. Inside, Anodyne seems... More >>
• BEST COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER
  In recent times this 20-year-old monthly, which was born as a newsletter for the Minneapolis American Indian Center, has gone beyond covering Native American issues to focus increasingly on regional news crucial to the community, offering well-sourced stories about trends in education, the... More >>
• BEST DAY TRIP
  Time to face the truth: There are people in our fine seven- (nine-? eleven-?) county metro area who have never seen the city. Either city. Pretty amazing, given that a mere 150 years ago St. Paul was the Twin Cities metro area. So here's an invitation to all of you (and especially those who... More >>
• BEST DEMOLITION
  When it comes to historic architecture, Minneapolis city officials have long exhibited a penchant for knocking stuff down rather than preserving it. But we gotta say this for them: When they do set their minds on saving an edifice, they spare no expense. Enter the Shubert Theater. The city... More >>
• BEST EXAMPLE OF COMMUNITY JOURNALISM
  This riveting four-part series, a joint effort undertaken by the Star Tribune, KTCA-TV, Minnesota Public Radio, and the Insight/KMOJ Public Policy Forum, highlighted the conflicts and kinships between two struggling Minnesota communities, one rural, the other urban. A video link was set up to... More >>
• BEST FARMERS MARKET
  The St. Paul Farmers' Market has been supplying produce to this area for 148 years. For the nonhistorians among us, that would be ten years longer than this gopher-pocked patch of prairie has been a state. Every Saturday and Sunday morning from late April through October, 100-plus growers offer... More >>
• BEST FESTIVAL
  A fringe festival of any stripe is wonderfully unpredictable, seemingly poised on the brink of anarchy despite its organizers' best intentions. Scores of performers compete for attention, audiences trek like art-seeking pilgrims from one theater to the next, and show quality swings dramatically... More >>
• BEST FEUD
  It's tempting to present this coveted award to our new governor. After all, in the course of his brief political career, Ventura's inclination to shoot from the lip--a talent that served him well as radio host and rassler--has been sparked by the tiniest provocations. But few of Ventura's... More >>
• BEST FOOD COURT
  When archaeologists unearth Gaviidae in the year 3015, they will most certainly marvel at the State Fare Food Court. They will have found McDonald's ruins and Subway shards at other digs, though the relatively rare Manchu Wok might spark a debate. (Only Annie's Frozen Yogurt will be a complete... More >>
• BEST GADFLY
  How do we love Dick? Let us count the ways. Franson's life is an open book--make that an open fax. There's almost nothing the man won't put into a press release (including details you never wanted to know about his recent prostate surgery). A retired army first sergeant, Franson served one term... More >>
• BEST GOOD TIMING
  Timing may not be everything, but in the business of professional sports it comes damn close. Throughout his long career as an auto-sales and communications magnate, Billy Joe "Red" McCombs has displayed the typical billionaire's touch for cutting the timely deal. In the '70s and '80s he raked... More >>
• BEST GROUND ZERO
  Throw out all the plans. Burn the engineering studies. Rip up the newspaper clippings and meeting minutes documenting 30 years of controversy over the rerouting of Minneapolis's Hiawatha Avenue. Start over--here, on this spot of tall grass and oak, where some see a precious urban wilderness and... More >>
• BEST GUBERNATORIAL APPOINTEE
  Mondale sputtered to a distant fifth in the DFL gubernatorial primary last September. But as things worked out, he wound up in a better place than Skip Humphrey. In January newly installed governor Jesse Ventura tapped Mondale to head the Metropolitan Council, a move that showed the self-styled... More >>
• BEST HAPPY HOUR
  Many so-called happy hours around town only last a couple of hours and offer some nominally discounted drink prices. At Porter's, happy hour is a marathon event: Two-for-one drinks from 3:30 until 7:30 p.m., every day of the week. You'll be surprised how happy you can get for so little.... More >>
• BEST HOAX
  Seeing as how last November marked the 100th anniversary of the discovery of the Kensington Runestone--the 202-pound slab of rock that allegedly tells the story of a Viking expedition to Minnesota in 1362--it's a fitting time to contemplate the state of hoaxes in Minnesota. Alas, we have... More >>
• BEST HOTEL
  In 1908 Lucius P. Ordway set to building a hotel that would beckon business visitors from around the country. He hired the New York architectural firm that had designed Grand Central Station and instructed them to use only the finest materials available. Nearly a hundred years (and one... More >>
• BEST JESSE VENTURA MERCHANDISING SCHEME
  Never mind the T-shirts, the bumper stickers, the books, or those dadburned action figures. The best Jesse cash-in product so far appeared online in late January: our gube, sensitively immortalized on black velvet. The genius behind it all is L.A.-based film-school dropout Bill Robison, who... More >>
• BEST JESSE VENTURA QUOTE
  We thought this was gonna be like shooting fish in a barrel. But there's a problem with trying to pin down the definitive gubernatorial pronouncement: Every time you're sure he can't top what he just finished saying, the big lug goes and opens his mouth again. We eliminated several pearls of... More >>
• BEST JESSE VENTURA WEB SITE
  Many of the online sites devoted to Gov. Jesse Ventura are essentially working with the same batch of "content," as the new media gurus say, so winning this derby comes down to a matter of smart, sassy packaging. Venturafiles.com, billed as "Ground Zero for the Ventura Revolution" (but they... More >>
• BEST JOKE AT THE EXPENSE OF THE NEW GOVERNOR
  Everybody's had their fun with the new governor: late-night TV hosts, the national press, Garrison Keillor. Even Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau got some mileage out of lampooning our beloved blowhard. After Ventura remarked on The Late Show with David Letterman that the streets of St. Paul... More >>
• BEST LIBRARY
  We'll concede that the downtown library doesn't rank high on the aesthetics meter. If stateliness and charm is what you're after, you may want to curl up with a novel at the St. Paul Public Library's central branch. But in terms of sheer volume of volumes, this ugly 1961 edifice reigns supreme.... More >>
• BEST LOCAL BOY MADE GOOD
  What, you thought we were gonna give it to Skip Humphrey? Way back in the summer of '97, when the gube-jockeying commenced, the race gained national notice as a quartet of DFL scions pitted themselves against each other to face Democratic carpetbagger-turned-GOP mouthpiece Norm Coleman. But as... More >>
• BEST LOCAL GIRL MADE GOOD
  The erstwhile diva of the local gossip columns was keeping an uncharacteristically low profile--even going so far as to become engaged to a portly Long Island plastic surgeon (that'll be Hubby Number Three, for those of you who keep score)--when from way out of left field came Kenneth Starr.... More >>
• BEST LOCAL GIRL MADE O.J.
  Everybody's entitled to their 15 minutes of fame--and here's hoping this 23-year-old St. Anthony High and University of Minnesota alum is done with hers. More >>
• BEST LOCAL LANDMARK
  Ever wonder how it would feel to utter, in all seriousness, some classic but cliché line? You know, like "Stop the presses!" Or "Is there a doctor in the house?" Well, here's your chance. Head to the Mall of America, and locate Knott's Camp Snoopy. (That's a depressing moment in itself,... More >>
• BEST LOSER
  Someone should write a thank-you note to Gary Anderson. Thanks for making an incredible 106 of your 107 attempts at extra points and field goals in your first year as a Viking; for nonetheless refusing to sign "Mr. Perfect" on your autograph, even when fans begged you; for admitting that, after... More >>
• BEST MONTH TO BE IN THE TWIN CITIES
  See "Best Month to Leave the Twin Cities." More >>
• BEST MONTH TO LEAVE THE TWIN CITIES
  Honestly, doesn't all the endless bitching over Minnesota winters grate on your nerves? Our television meteorologists behave as if it's a calamity every time a veneer of snow hits the lawn. (Paradoxically, of course, they go into burlesque fits of mourning for the snowmobile industry when we... More >>
• BEST NEWS FOR BUDGET TRAVELERS
  Not even a full cruise season after the mechanics' and groundworkers' strike against Northwest Airlines illustrated just how dependent we are on one Goliath airline, this upstart vacation charter company announced its decision to start scheduled service from here to ten U.S. cities. Sun... More >>
• BEST PARADE
  There just aren't as many places as there used to be where you can simultaneously catch a few rays, Barbara Carlson dressed in sequins, and a drag queen driving a scooter. Thank goodness for the parade that puts an exclamation point on the annual Minneapolis Pride Festival. Sponsored by Gay,... More >>
• BEST PLACE FOR A FIRST DATE
  Although it wears the masks of Agriculture, Commerce, and Industry, the Great Minnesota Get-Together has always been about Love. Just ask any 4-H kid and he'll tell you about the itchy swoon of his first State Fair crush. There's something in the hot summer air, suspended in the atomized... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO DUMP SOMEONE
  There are degrees of dumping, it's true. Yet the Loon's parking lot fits the bill in most instances. For one thing, there's nothing like a Loon popsicle or a pack of cigarettes to gently ease into a congenial split. Too brief an affair--or too volatile--for in-person confrontation? The Loon's... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO GET DUMPED
  There's no good place to be dumped (with the possible exception of a gun range). But if the boom's gonna be lowered on you, it might as well happen at South Beach. Number one, you can drown your sorrows. Second, look at all the beautiful people around you. Mr. or Ms. Pain-in-the-Keister isn't... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO LEARN ENGLISH
  Used to be that you could get through half a lifetime in parts of Minnesota without speaking a word of English. Germans, Norwegians, Swedes, and Czechs shopped, banked, and worshiped in their native languages a century ago; even government agencies did business in the Old Country's tongue.... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE MEN (GAY)
  The Saloon may be the easiest place to think of when you're looking to meet a man--but why would you, dear reader, want to meet a man who doesn't like to think hard? For those who prefer places where it's possible to scope out the options based on stunning conversational skills as well as tight... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE MEN (STRAIGHT)
  Settling on the best place in the Twin Cities to meet unattached straight men is like trying to name the best place in the nation to see a California condor: Sightings are rare. But when the single heterosexual male is spotted, it's often in the aisles (or behind the counter) of Electric Fetus,... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE WOMEN (GAY)
  The fog machines erase the weariness of the day; look out over the crowd and all you see is heart-thumpingly dreamy gay women, glistening from dancing and dressed to the nines. Caveat: We're talking Metro's downstairs dance annex, and only on Saturday nights. During the rest of the week, we... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE WOMEN (STRAIGHT)
  The trouble with honoring grocery stores and public parks in this category is that while there are, of course, single women passing through such locales, only a fraction are open to flirting with City Pages readers sporting ink-stained fingers and dry mouths. On the other hand, Bondage A Go-Go... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO WITNESS AN ACCIDENT
  You never know when you're gonna wake up one morning with a yen to see some car carnage. (Maybe you just got a little too worked up over those advertisements for the Monster Jam at the Metrodome.) But where do you go? Glad you asked. First, rule out the freeways--you can't just sit on the... More >>
• BEST POLITICIAN
  As glad as we were to see the guy join the Ventura administration, we're going to miss him on the Minneapolis City Council. And not just because of the fireworks. As the council's sole non-DFLer, Minn was a lonely caucus of one--but a very articulate caucus. Though he was almost certainly the... More >>
• BEST PUBLIC BEHEADING
  Back in 1994, the Minneapolis City Council and Mayor Sharon Sayles Belton wooed Farmer to run the city's planning department. He was the epitome of a golden boy, bringing with him a sparkling résumé that included stints as a planning consultant in Canada, India, and Germany;... More >>
• BEST PUBLIC GARDENER
  When she's not counseling inmates at Lino Lakes state prison or working as a volunteer lobbyist for the Association for Nonsmokers-Minnesota or working to rid the landscape of billboards promoting free transport with the Yellow Bike Coalition (deep breath), this 54-year-old St. Paulite... More >>
• BEST PUBLIC RESTROOM
  Public toilet facilities are highly valuable real estate of a sort; thus the axiom "location, location, location" applies. Sure, the facilities here aren't breathtaking--although the red-brick walls do add a nice touch. They are, however, clean and functional, and the surroundings can't be... More >>
• BEST RENOVATION
  This squat, unflashy brick building may not look like the grandest renovation in recent memory. But in a city that has been forever callous about saving old structures, it's a wonder the little freight house survived at all. After sitting vacant for more than 25 years, the two-story edifice was... More >>
• BEST SHAMELESS SPORTS-MERCHANDISING PLOY
  This Best Buy exclusive hit the racks in mid-December, when it still seemed that the home team Just Might Go All the Way. It's a compilation of ten musical PA-system thumpers ranging from the Gap Band's "You Dropped a Bomb on Me" and the Village People's "Y.M.C.A." to Big Country's "In a Big... More >>
• BEST SHOW OF SPINE
  It would have been so easy to roll over. They could have come up with a nice rationale--stuff about "balancing diverging points of view" and "the interests of the community as a whole." They could have listened to the St. Paul Companies' siren song about a shiny new corporate building and some... More >>
• BEST TOURIST ATTRACTION
  When out-of-town visitors show up, we inevitably and unenthusiastically yield to their pleas to ogle the Mary Tyler Moore house, the Spoonbridge and Cherry sculpture, First Avenue, the Art Institute....Then we take them to that dank stretch of Third Street in the shadow of the Metrodome where... More >>
• BEST TOURIST TRAP
  People come from all over the upper Midwest to pay--to pay!--to park their cars on this denuded city-owned block in the heart of downtown Minneapolis. More >>
• BEST USE OF TAXPAYER DOLLARS
  The new name is a freebie. It's the revamping of the 17.6 acres that for 70 years was known as the Sears complex that'll cost a pretty penny. No one has yet tallied up the final price tag for this public-private venture, probably because the blueprints keep changing from month to month, but the... More >>
• BEST VERDICT
  Conventional wisdom has long dictated that juvenile court proceedings should be conducted behind closed doors in order to protect the minors involved. While this is an admirable gesture, many children's advocates have maintained that closing the system robs it of its accountability and also... More >>
• BEST VICTIM
  After they put in their eon of public service, at least O.J. Simpson jurors got to 1) render a verdict, and (because the verdict was hugely controversial) 2) enjoy their 15 minutes of fame on the talk-show circuit. Not so for the Ramsey County residents who last year spent four months hearing... More >>
• BEST VIEW
  Walk out onto this pedestrian/bike path, turn to face downtown, and behold: the history of Minneapolis business in a panoramic nutshell. In front of you, the twinkling lights of the modern skyscrapers. To your right, the uppermost lock on the Mississippi. On the riverbanks behind and in front... More >>
• BEST VILLAIN
  First, pleading poverty, the billionaire Twins owner demands a publicly funded stadium. Then he nearly succeeds in selling the team down the river to North Carolina. Then he refuses to let former St. Paul Saints co-owner Mike Veeck put together an offer to buy the club (Veeck, sadly, has since... More >>
• BEST WAY TO GET BACK AT YOUR LANDLORD
  The window in the hallway has been broken for three months, the cockroaches are back, and the hot water is room temperature at best: For $600 a month, shouldn't you be entitled to better? Find out at these free seminars covering everything from the basic (what exactly is an FHA mortgage,... More >>
• BEST WEEKEND GETAWAY
  As the birthplace of Bob Dylan, Duluth is destined to go down in literary history like Joyce's Dublin. The Twin Cities, residents of which rarely deign to even notice their neighbor 150 miles to the north, will meantime be remembered as some hick burg from a 1960s sitcom. Plan on spending... More >>
• BEST WINNER
  They were asking for it--Bud Grant, Howard Hanson, and their latest ally, Jesse "My natural heritage is DuPont fishing" Ventura. They were begging to have their faces rubbed in it, to be insulted and humiliated, to get a dose of their own medicine: Lining them up on the Capitol steps would have... More >>
• BEST WRITER AT A LOCAL DAILY
  The Saint Paul Pioneer Press calls Ruben Rosario its public-safety columnist. Technically, that may describe his spot in the newsroom hierarchy. But Rosario's real function, to hear his colleagues tell it, is that of community conscience: "Ruben feels it's his duty to keep us aware that there... More >>