There are a number of fine parlors in town where you can be pierced by a pro, but the Bionic Laboratory stands out among them for its relatively serene atmosphere, helpful staff, and wide variety of body jewelry. You'll notice the difference immediately upon entering: This place doesn't look or feel like a torture chamber. Owner/piercer Jamie Ross says her goal from day one has been to make the place as inviting as possible, and her efforts have paid off: Since opening day in November 1997, a mere five people have passed out from pre-piercing jitters, compared with the half-dozen per day that have been known to drop at some other local spots. (Flashing a triumphant grin, Ross proclaims she's still on her first container of smelling salts.) Her staffers are some of the most pleasant around, and they'll take the time to answer all your questions. How much for a Monroe? $30. Lip? $30. Er, other lip? $35. How much for the jewelry? Most pieces cost between $10 and $28, but if you prefer diamonds and rubies, they can get those for you, too. See, it's all about what you want. And if piercing is what you want, getting it done at Bionic Laboratory is about as enjoyable as having someone plunge a sharp object through your flesh can get.