Judging by her choice of reading material--Dorothy Allison, Audre Lorde, Alison Bechdal--she's definitely an Ellen. (Didn't we see her at the Dinah Shore Open?) The question remains: Is she yoked or free-range? You strut, you stare, you sigh. She fails to take notice. As k.d. lang croons in the background, you collapse into a couch at the back of the shop and feign deep interest in the politics of ecofeminism. Suddenly your aloofness pays off: She settles into the chair opposite, looks you straight in the eye, and says, "Hi, I'm Laura. I'm dating your ex."