The scene opens with one of the worst songs in the history of histories — "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes — playing in a quintessential suburban kitchen. "It's our song," a wife of pleasant girth announces to her equally robust hubby. They commence with the sultry dance, moving with the comedic stiffness of middle age. Then hubby turns his back, believing the moment has passed. That's when the missus drives across the kitchen at full sprint, soaring into her lover's arms. One problem: He's no longer looking. They smash into a table, leaving a pile of busted wood and strewn plants. The moral of the story? UnitedHealthcare will help you enter the complex health system, even when you're smashing stuff in your kitchen.