Breakups — the ones that don't devolve into car keying — are best done in private. However, sometimes it's best to go out with a bang. The Mall of America contains dozens of ways to ruin a relationship that will be funny later (much later), many of them in Nickelodeon Universe. Lumber past him on the Sky Trail ropes course and yell down, "I'm over you!" Take her on the Spongebob Squarepants Rock Bottom Plunge, then at the exit whisper, "Well, we've hit rock bottom." Load him up on the Fairly Odd Coaster and squeal cathartically, "I'm so sick of this roller coaster! Get your shit out of my apartment!" After all, that person you're dating is terrible and is going to get broken up with so many times. Why not be the memorable one? Then get on the escalator without him/her, and ride away wide-eyed, waving slowly.

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