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BEST LOCALLY GENERATED BLOG (RIGHT-WING)

Faith Mouse

Most political blogs have one common goal, and that's to beat the reader about the head and shoulders with the strident opinions of the author. Be it through truthiness or hyperbole, these sites deliver the red meat their followers demand, while excoriating the opposition for every infraction, real or implied. The conservative cartoon blog Faith Mouse takes a different tack. In examining the dozens of right-wing sites on its blog roll, one can easily surmise where local cartoonist Dan Lacey's sympathies lie. But judging the cartoons he prolifically posts will leave one scratching one's head more times that not. The star is Christian rodent Faith Mouse, who shares face-time with a rotating cast of unseemly characters like the ACLU Ferret, the pro-choice feminist Ms. Starmole, the shameful Gay Bear, and the mustachioed Devil Cat, who wears a sombrero festooned with pentagrams. While most three-panel cartoons follow an introduction/setup/conclusion format, Lacey's non sequiturs often leave the reader going, "huh?" (Forum threads on sites such as Touch of Evil and Something Awful have been dedicated to deciphering Faith Mouse cartoons.) A recent panel found Faith Mouse observing a flying saucer heading toward her. Panel two shows the ship opening to reveal "recovered" homosexual Donnie Davies singing "God Hates Fags!" The third panel features political pundit Andrew Sullivan applauding a bowing Davies with the phrases "Christian baiting!" and "xGay bashing!" over Sullivan's head. So, why would the gay Sullivan be applauding Davies' gay bashing? Lacey himself stated, "I'd rather not explain my cartoons (not sure I absolutely can)," in an unrelated January 2007 posting. His more straightforward pieces against the ACLU and "Hitlery" Clinton are mere diversions from images like presidential candidate Sen. Sam Brownback (R-KS) cradling a wide-eyed aborted fetus named Neverborn as his running mate for 2008. This year, Faith Mouse wins our straw poll.

BEST APPLE ORCHARD Sponsel's Minnesota Harvest

BEST ARCHITECTUAL TIME CAPSULE St. Paul Union Depot

BEST ARCHITECTURAL RENOVATION OF AN OLD BUILDING The Chambers Hotel

BEST BEACH Riverfront Park and Beach

BEST BIKE TRAIL The Midtown Greenway

BEST BOWLING ALLEY Memory Lanes

BEST BOXER Anthony Bonsante

BEST CAREER MOVE Keith Ellison's run for Congress

BEST COACH Ron Gardenhire

BEST COLLEGE ATHLETE Dustin Schlatter

BEST COLUMNIST Patrick Reusse

BEST DAY TRIP Lake Maria State Park

BEST FISHING HOLE (EXURBAN) St. Croix River

BEST FISHING HOLE (URBAN) The confluence of Minnehaha Creek and the Mississippi River

BEST GADFLY Tom Emmer

BEST GAY BAR The Saloon

BEST HELLRAISER OR ACTIVIST GROUP AlliantACTION

BEST HIGH SCHOOL ATHLETE Whitney Taney

BEST LESBIAN BAR Pi

BEST LIBRARY St. Paul Central Library

BEST LOCAL BOY GONE BAD William McGuire

BEST LOCAL BOY MADE GOOD Joe Mauer

BEST LOCAL GIRL GONE BAD Former Minneapolis Fire Chief Bonnie Bleskachek

BEST LOCAL GIRL MADE GOOD Diablo Cody

BEST LOCALLY GENERATED BLOG (LEFT-WING) The Cucking Stool

BEST LYNX PLAYER Seimone Augustus

BEST MAYOR Chris Coleman

BEST MOTORCYCLE RIDE (GREATER MINNESOTA) Highway 61

BEST MOTORCYCLE RIDE (URBAN) The Grand Rounds

BEST PICKUP SPOT FOR PARENTS Casper & Runyon's Nook

BEST PICNIC SPOT Minnehaha Byway

BEST PLACE FOR A FIRST DATE The roof of the Tate Laboratory of Physics

BEST PLACE TO BE SEEN WITH YOUR MOTORCYCLE Dulono's Pizza

BEST PLACE TO ICE SKATE Van Cleve Park

BEST PLACE TO JOG Big Rivers Regional Trail

BEST PLACE TO LEARN TO DANCE Zenon Dance Company and School

BEST PLACE TO MEET OTHER GAY FAMILIES Rainbow Families

BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE MEN (GAY) 19 BAR

BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE MEN (STRAIGHT) Spyhouse

BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE WOMEN (LESBIAN) Twilight

BEST PLACE TO MEET SINGLE WOMEN (STRAIGHT) Twins games

BEST PLACE TO PEOPLE-WATCH Minnehaha Park on a warm spring day

BEST PLACE TO PLAY PINBALL S.S. Billiards

BEST PLACE TO SHOOT POOL Brunswick's (at Grandma's Saloon)

BEST PLACE TO SMOKE INDOORS Mainstreet Bar and Grill

BEST PLACE TO TAKE OUT-OF-TOWN GUESTS Mill Ruins Park

BEST PLACE TO WATCH SOCCER Sweetwater Bar & Grille

BEST POLITICIAN Becky Lourey

BEST PUB QUIZ Brit's Pub

BEST PUBLIC PARK Como Park

BEST PUBLIC RESTROOM The facilities at Lock and Dam 1

BEST RESCUED LANDMARK Midtown Exchange

BEST ROCK CLIMBING Vertical Endeavors

BEST SCANDAL Norm Coleman Sr.'s special delivery

BEST SIGN OF SPRING Custom cars

BEST SLEDDING Green Acres Recreation

BEST STATE FAIR RIDE The Space Tower

BEST STRIP CLUB The Seville Club

BEST TENNIS COURTS Reed-Sweatt Family Tennis Center

BEST THUNDER PLAYER Freddy Juarez

BEST TIMBERWOLVES PLAYER Kevin Garnett

BEST TV NEWSCASTER Don Shelby

BEST TV SPORTS ANCHOR Eric Perkins

BEST TV WEATHERPERSON Sven Sundgaard

BEST TWINS PLAYER Johan Santana

BEST URINALS Stasiu's

BEST VICTIM Tammy Lee

BEST VIKINGS PLAYER Pat Williams

BEST VILLAIN Kimanie Carter

BEST WEEKEND GETAWAY Trempealeau, Wisconsin

BEST WILD PLAYER Marian Gaborik

BEST YOGA Bikram Yoga Bloomington