comScore

Best of

the Twin Cities

BEST PLACE TO GET DUMPED

Mall of America

Being at the Mall of America is tantamount to suffering a few hours of agony anyway, right? What's a little heartache to go with it? It might even make being at the mall more fun. Let's look at some key considerations in breakup-siting: Is there enough privacy to salvage your pride? Well, no, but there's loads of anonymity, which should be a suitable substitute. Would your memories of the place be tainted? Quite possibly. But do you really want to go back there again? Probably not. If you do, though, not to worry: The stores and kiosks change often enough, and the mall is so durn ginormous it's kind of like an entire city. You could probably just avoid the particular points of latitude and longitude at which the dumping took place. Now, on to the healing (the mall is so well equipped to handle your dumping needs, you'll begin to wonder if this is why malls were put on the earth in the first place): 1) Gorging. Getting dumped will require a Mud Pie Blizzard with chocolate-chip-cookie-dough bits swirled in, or a gluttonous facsimile. The mall has this extensively covered. It is an ice cream mecca. 2) Shopping therapy. Again, covered. We don't need to explain this. 3) Drinking. There should still be a few survivors of the great Fourth-Floor Bar Purge of 2005. By all means, get loaded. 4) Vegas wedding. At the Chapel of Love, you may legally exchange marital vows. Call an old high school pal and get yourself a 55-hour marriage to get over your Justin Timberlake, uh, boyfriend. 5) Self improvement. Spas, water massage joints, and hair salons abound. Shit, you can go back to school in an attempt to improve yourself/impress your former flame. (Well, you can go to National American University. It has a Mall of America campus.) 6) Transportation. When it's all over, you can hop on the light rail and get yourself out of there relatively not bad off. And let's not forget 7) Optimism. If Mallrats taught us anything, it's that Minnesota malls (the movie was shot at the Eden Prairie Mall, pre-makeover) are the perfect place to ruin a live, pilot episode of a rip-off dating-game show and win back your lost love forever.

BEST ACOUSTIC PERFORMER House of Mercy

BEST ACTOR (FEMALE)

BEST ACTOR (MALE) Bob Malos

BEST AM RADIO PERSONALITY T.D. Mischke

BEST APPLE ORCHARD Fischer's Croix Farm Orchard

BEST ARCHITECTURAL RENOVATION OF AN OLD BUILDING Franklin Community Library

BEST ARCHITECTURAL SALVAGE Art+Architecture

BEST AREA PREMIERE Take Me Out

BEST BAR YOU CAN SMOKE IN Al's

BEST BARISTA Espresso Royale

BEST BARTENDER Michel Bechara

BEST BEACH Lake Harriet

BEST BIKE TRAIL Elm Creek Park Reserve

BEST BLOG (LEFT-WING) Minvolved

BEST BLOG (PERSONAL) Driver2165

BEST BLOG (RIGHT-WING) Nihilist in Golf Pants

BEST BLOG (SPECIALTY) MN Beer

BEST BOONDOGGLE

BEST BOWLING ALLEY Elsie's Bowling Center

BEST BOXER Jason Litzau

BEST BROKEN PROMISE

BEST CAREER MOVE Kirby Puckett

BEST CHARITY Minnesota AIDS Project

BEST CHEAP THRILL Meth

BEST CHOREOGRAPHER Uri Sands

BEST CLUB DJ Karl Frankowski And Jeff Dubois

BEST COACH John Gagliardi

BEST COLLEGE ATHLETE Cole Konrad

BEST COLUMNIST Katherine Kersten

BEST COMMUNITY-BUILDING CAFE LoTo - CLOSED

BEST CORPORATE CITIZEN Kevin Garnett

BEST CRIMINAL Joshua Gardner

BEST DANCER Mary Ann Bradley

BEST DAY TRIP Winona Sugarloaf

BEST DIRECTOR Peter Rothstein

BEST FISHING HOLE Northeast Tip of Pike Island

BEST FM RADIO PERSONALITY Dan Donovan

BEST GADFLY Ed Morrissey

BEST GAY BAR, BEST LESBIAN BAR The Town House

BEST GOLF COURSE Inver Wood Golf Course

BEST GYM YWCA

BEST HELLRAISER OR ACTIVIST GROUP Communities United Against Police Brutality

BEST HIGH SCHOOL ATHLETE Tayler Hill

BEST HIP-HOP ARTIST I Self Devine

BEST HIP-HOP DJ Willy Lose

BEST JAZZ ARTIST Phil Hey

BEST LIBRARY Minneapolis Central Library

BEST LIVE ARTIST Birthday Suits

BEST LOCAL BOY GONE BAD Dean Zimmerman

BEST LOCAL BOY MADE GOOD Dante Culpepper

BEST LOCAL CHEF Tim McKee

BEST LOCAL GIRL GONE BAD Nicole Helget

BEST LOCAL GIRL MADE GOOD Nicole Helget

BEST LOFT OR CONDO PROJECT Le Parisien Flats and Marketplace

BEST LYNX PLAYER Nicole Ohlde

BEST MAKEOVER OF A TV PERSONALITY Cyndy Brucato

BEST MAYOR Randy Kelly

BEST NEW NAME FOR COON RAPIDS

BEST OPEN BAR/PATIO The Liffey

BEST PICNIC SPOT Prospect Park Water Tower's observation deck

BEST PLACE FOR A FIRST DATE Bryant-Lake Bowl

BEST PLACE TO BIRD-WATCH Avery's Sandhill

BEST PLACE TO CANOE St. Croix River

BEST PLACE TO DROP OFF YOUR KID FOR A WHILE Ikea

BEST PLACE TO DUMP SOMEONE Movie Theatres

BEST PLACE TO GET LOST WHILE RUNNING ERRANDS Bauer Brothers Salvage

BEST PLACE TO HIKE Interstate State Park

BEST PLACE TO ICE SKATE Centennial Lakes Park And Putting Course

BEST PLACE TO JOG

BEST PLACE TO LEARN TO DANCE University-Minnesota Dance

BEST PLACE TO MEET GAY FAMILIES Rainbow Families

BEST PLACE TO PLAY POOL Fat Boy Billiards

BEST PLACE TO TAKE OUT OF TOWN GUESTS Minnehaha Park and Falls

BEST PLACE TO WASTE TIME PRODUCTIVELY Minnesota Historical Society Library

BEST POLITICIAN Mike Hatch

BEST PUBLIC PARK Fort Snelling State Park

BEST PUBLIC RESTROOM Ike's Food & Cocktails

BEST R&B ARTIST Mick Sterling

BEST REASON NOT TO MOVE TO THE 'BURBS

BEST ROMANTIC BIKE RIDE Midtown Greenway

BEST SIGN OF SPRING

BEST SIGNAGE Murray's Restaurant And Cocktail Lounge

BEST SONGWRITER P.O.S.

BEST SPORTS TALK RADIO HOST Dan Barreiro

BEST STATE FAIR ATTRACTION 4-H Competition

BEST STRIP CLUB The Double Deuce

BEST SUBURBAN LAKE AREA Square Lake Park

BEST TENNIS COURTS Bassett Creek Park

BEST THUNDER PLAYER Brett Branan

BEST TIMBERWOLVES PLAYER Kevin Garnett

BEST TV NEWSCASTER Julie Nelson

BEST TV SPORTS ANCHOR Eric Perkins

BEST TV WEATHERPERSON Paul Douglas

BEST TWINS PLAYER Carlos Silva

BEST VILLAIN Tim Pawlenty

BEST VOCALIST (FEMALE)

BEST VOCALIST (MALE) Robert Robinson's

BEST WEEKEND GETAWAY Superior Hiking Trail