Let's face it. When you go to see exotic female dancers, you don't want to go to some hyped-up, franchised, McDonaldized club five blocks from your office. You want a strip joint. You want some little place tucked away in a rural area where you're not likely to be seen by your boss, minister, or girlfriend's little sister. You want a place with cool video games upon which to rest your overstimulated eyes. You want a place where the dancers look like women, not surgically altered, bleached, waxed, and starved Amazons. You want a place where your hard-earned dollar goes as far as possible. Jake's is that place. Located just off of Highway 52, between St. Paul and Cannon Falls, Jake's features beautiful, buck-naked young ladies ready, willing, and able to treat you to one of Minnesota's longest full-contact couch dances for a price that will shock patrons accustomed to downtown clubs, where dancers won't even glance in your direction unless it looks like you can put big money on the rail. (Note: Your Coke, however, will still cost you $3.50.) The City of Rosemount may force patrons to trade the privilege of a full bar for the excitement of full nudity, but at least no one gets stuck with the nerdy badge of designated driver or hauled in by the not-so-understanding state highway patrol. Somewhere amid the well-positioned stage, the requisite VIP lounge, the super-friendly staff, and the politely enthusiastic onlookers, you will find yourself transformed, converted, swearing that never again will you pay too much for a couch dance.


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