BEST RESTAURANT WHEN SOMEONE ELSE IS PAYING (1999)
Is Aquavit the most eagerly anticipated restaurant in the whole gosh-darn history of the Twin Cities? Seems so, but to really get a handle on the complex, extensive menu you're going to need to visit a bunch of times--and, Bunky, on what you earn, things don't look good. That's why you've got to make new friends. Industrial magnates. Powerball winners. Internet starter-uppers. And what better way to get to know them than to gulp down shots of the house-infused aquavit as you discuss the merits of venison and blond-wood decor? When the check comes--that, Bunky, is a perfect time to amuse yourself in the bathroom with those extra-thick towels.