BEST PLACE TO DUMP SOMEONE (1998)
As Big Muddy's waters ooze past, you think of where it all began and where it will end. This mighty river, you consider, starts as a naive little spring, growing with each tributary until, grown grand and polluted, it ends in a Mardi Gras climax at the Gulf. The ocean accepts, changing the freshwater to salt, until the hot equatorial air vaporizes it into the clouds. The sky cries, and the cycle is renewed. You look from the river to your lover and you say, "Look at the wise river. It has something to say." If your soon-to-be-ex protests too much, tie his foot to a passing barge.