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2009 Stories by Patrick Strait

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  • The Wet Spot: Sexy holiday shopping at The Cockpit Project

    published Dec 23, 2009

    ​It's December 23. Of course I haven't bought anything. For fancy gentlemen like myself, little things like "holiday shopping" sometimes get lost in the shuffle, due to the other important an... More >>

  • The Wet Spot presents: Minnesota's Top 9 sexiest scandals of the '00's

    published Dec 16, 2009

    When people think of Minnesota, they don't usually think "sex scandal." How wrong they are.Our state has been known to get into some seriously sexy mischief over the years, and the 2000s might be our ... More >>

  • Office holiday parties: A cautionary tale

    published Dec 11, 2009

    ​For 364 days each year, cubicle warriors (like myself) sit in front of their computers, silently wasting away while their hopes and dreams slowly dissolve under high-powered fluorescent lightin... More >>

  • Daughtry signals our failure to rock in the '00s

    published Dec 09, 2009

    ​In case you missed it, earlier today we shared our votes for the top 10 biggest bummers of the decade for Minnesota. And while there were plenty of bummers that affected us on a national and worldw... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: An open letter to Tiger Woods

    published Dec 04, 2009

    ​ ​I didn't want it to come to this. When I first heard about Tiger Woods getting in his accident last week, the first thing I thought to myself was, "Oh snap! Tiger's got that baby mama dr... More >>

  • The ultimate Thanksgiving survival guide

    published Nov 25, 2009

    ​Hey kids! Want to know a fun fact about Thanksgiving? It destroys lives. Thanksgiving is the single most dangerous holiday of the year. Every year, hundreds of families are ripped apart on a... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: The evolution of dating shows

    The Wet Spot: The evolution of dating shows

    published Nov 20, 2009

    ​ ​Do you know what I've been thinking about lately? Television icon Chuck Woolery, formerly of the smash dating show Love Connection.Now, if you're under the age of 30, chances are you ma... More >>

  • 3 Tips for adding awesomeness to your office

    3 Tips for adding awesomeness to your office

    published Nov 18, 2009

    ​Are you sitting in a cubicle right now? Is it awesome? Are you having an exciting day filled with magic and intrigue? Or are you simply killing time by clicking on any Internet link you can ... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: Adventures in bro-hunting

    published Nov 13, 2009

    ​A couple of nights ago I was hanging out, watching an episode of Entourage (because it's totally awesome and exactly like real life) and it got me thinking.See, as a sexy and mysterious gent... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: Sculpting the ultimate erotic facial hair

    published Nov 05, 2009

    ​Hypothetical question: If you had the chance to bone any one of the three main characters in the time-honored film, Three Men and a Baby, who would you choose? Of course you would choose Tom... More >>

  • Hulk Hogan rallies Hulkamaniacs, talks to Gimme Noise

    Hulk Hogan rallies Hulkamaniacs, talks to Gimme Noise

    published Nov 02, 2009

    ​In a world where everyone from Balloon Boy to Jon Gosselin can be considered a celebrity, there are very few people who can still be considered legitimate pop-culture icons. Hulk Hogan is among... More >>

  • Surviving an encounter with Hulk Hogan

    Surviving an encounter with Hulk Hogan

    published Oct 30, 2009

    ​Look, I don't want to sound like a drama queen or anything, but today is the single most meaningful day of my entire life. Tonight, at 6 p.m. inside the Mall of America (where dreams come tru... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: Choosing the right porn name with Vin Vericose

    published Oct 23, 2009

    ​After I finished reading this week's City Pages cover story about Minnesota's own Chad Fjerstad -- better known as alt-porn star Vin Vericose - I couldn't stop thinking about two things: 1) "If I s... More >>

  • Internet tips for old people

    published Oct 16, 2009

    ​This past week my mom emailed me to let me know that she is sick of storing all of my old He-Man and WWF action figures in her basement and that she plans on selling them using this cool new ... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: Zombie sexiness

    published Oct 09, 2009

    ​What do you get when you combine 5,000 zombies, a few dozen gallons of fake blood, an all day drink-a-thon and the music of LFO? A recipe for sexiness, that's what. This Saturday, thousa... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: Fact or fiction - You have a big package

    The Wet Spot: Fact or fiction - You have a big package

    published Oct 02, 2009

    ​I hate conversations like this. Back on Tuesday I was hanging out with a friend of mine (for the sake of anonymity, let's call him Joey Buttafuoco) who was describing a recent hook-up he had ... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: Scoring the ultimate three-way

    published Sep 25, 2009

    ​Here's a completely hypothetical situation that has absolutely nothing to do with me: Let's say that you're a 27-year-old married guy who also happens to be an erotic specialist, lives in Min... More >>

  • Q&A: Tucker Max brings drunken debauchery to the big screen

    Q&A: Tucker Max brings drunken debauchery to the big screen

    published Sep 21, 2009

    People call Tucker Max a lot of different names. Misogynist. Hero. Asshole. Best-selling author. Now the 33-year-old is adding another title to his resume: filmmaker. Opening this Friday, I Hope... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: Snagging a sugar daddy

    published Sep 18, 2009

    ​This has been a very educational week for me. Ever since I dropped mad knowledge about the intricacies of cougar hunting, I've gotten thousands of emails (11) and hundreds of text messages (4)... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: Cougar hunting

    published Sep 11, 2009

    ​Look; let's not make this weird. For whatever reason, over the past couple of years the term "cougar" has become cool. What's that? You don't know what a cougar is? Don't worry; Uncle Patrick ... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: Surviving the pissing trough

    published Sep 04, 2009

    ​This is long overdue. The Vikings regular season starts in a couple of weeks. The Twins are in the hunt for the playoffs. The Monster Jam is coming to town in December (Grave Digger rules!).... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: To pocket p*ssy, or not to pocket p*ssy

    published Aug 28, 2009

    ​SERIOUS LIFE DILEMMA ALERT! I got married this past weekend. I'm talking about the real deal wedding with cake, dancing, grandparents and a pocket pussy. And that's where the dilemma begins... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: Coping with mind-f*ck impotency

    published Aug 14, 2009

    ​This is a real phone conversation I had with a friend of mine this past weekend. Me: Hello?Joe Esposito: Hey what's up man? It's Joe Esposito (not his real name, as it has been changed to p... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: Getting aqua-erotic at Apple River

    published Aug 07, 2009

    ​OK, confession time: I don't get out of the Twin Cities very often. Why? Well, because when your life is as AWESOME as mine, you don't have any reason to leave. (*shotguns Coors Light, throws... More >>

  • The Wet Spot: Dance club etiquette - a growing concern

    published Jul 31, 2009

    ​Hi, Minneapolis club kids? It's me Patrick. We need to talk. Here's the thing - I used to be a pretty serious club kid myself a few years back. I always had a faded stamp on my hand from the we... More >>

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