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2009 Stories by TD Mischke

Archives: 2010 | 2009
  • A Christmas Story

    published December 16, 2009

    The child seated on the Santa's lap was scared but excited. The bearded, bespectacled man with the gray nostril hair and coffee breath seemed... More >>

  • Death of an American Pastime

    published December 9, 2009

    There was fatigue in the melancholy stare of the aging boomer. Nearby, some 200 protesters held signs and chanted a familiar... More >>

  • Road Kill

    published December 2, 2009

    A newspaper column is an act of hubris. It says, "I have something to say that no one else is saying in quite the same way." It says, "These... More >>

  • The Deer Hunter

    published November 25, 2009

    Was it a successful hunt this year, Lewis? Not really, no. It's getting tougher out there. Some of the deer seem to be on to... More >>

  • Unwanted Guests

    published November 18, 2009

    Religion and Politics were out sharing a bottle of blackberry brandy near a railroad track in Nordeast. Both had just been kicked out of... More >>

  • That's a Wrap

    published November 11, 2009

    I don't know if you folks are hip to this, but I've been doing some research and it appears 2012 is going to be quite a year. The year 1978 was... More >>

  • Confessions of a Sports Fan

    published November 4, 2009

    My name is Bill W. I'm not the founder of AA; that guy's dead. I'm Bill W., the Minnesota sports fan. I'm not addicted to sports.... More >>

  • Just Say No

    published October 28, 2009

    Years ago I used to say, "If I ever rob a bank, the note I'll pass along to the teller will read, 'I dare you to refuse.'" In those... More >>

  • Beauty Secrets

    published October 21, 2009

    James has never had a good experience in a barber's chair. For reasons he's never been able to fully articulate, haircuts have always brought... More >>

  • Cold Weather Rules!

    published October 14, 2009

    This past week, as the gales of November came early, news reports alerted citizens to the kickoff of "cold-weather rules." Those familiar with... More >>

  • Name Games

    published October 7, 2009

    Will the kin of the late Hubert H. Humphrey please step forward and demand the old man's name be ripped from the Metrodome's marquee? Might... More >>

  • You Can't Go Home Again

    published September 30, 2009

    The world of science delivered a report last week that I'm told rocked some people's worlds. It appeared as a big, bold headline on my favorite... More >>

  • Requiem for a Dream

    published September 23, 2009

    He had wanted to be an artist, but in the end he'd become an imitator. His seven years of playing local clubs, usually as an opening act or a... More >>

  • One Small Slip for Man

    published September 16, 2009

    "Oh, great," she mumbled. And with that, $100,000 in equipment floated into eternity. Who from St. Paul doesn't remember hearing of our... More >>

  • Postcards from the Edge

    published September 9, 2009

    The Vikings season opener is only days away. Man, this will be a fun ride. The Monday-night game against Green Bay is going to feel like a... More >>

  • Uncloistered thoughts

    published September 2, 2009

    I have an embarrassing confession to make. I've often dreamed of joining a Trappist monastery. It's embarrassing because I'm not a Christian,... More >>

  • Summer Elegy

    published August 26, 2009

    It must have been the "Back to School Sale" stamped across the top of the Sunday insert. It slid from the newspaper, landing on the living room... More >>

  • Eternal order from a spotless mind

    published August 19, 2009

    I don't like the president's Oval Office. I don't think I ever have. I've spent a lifetime in offices, lots of them, but none has ever looked... More >>

  • Piano man plays pristine standards among plywood and pliers

    published August 12, 2009

    He blithely ran through "Für Elise" as the adjacent moving ramp carried shoppers to the plumbing section on the second floor. His... More >>

  • Marshalling into Lake Street

    published August 5, 2009

    "Show me these two cities," said the out-of-towner to the cabbie. "Show me them in a single stretch, on a straight line, where I can peer out... More >>

  • Humankind snubbed on Seven Wonders of the World list

    published July 29, 2009

    Over one billion people are expected to vote, and they say not a single one will be opting for my candidate. The global poll to... More >>

  • Rafting down the aisle

    published July 22, 2009

    "I ain't never rode no wild river, Gus. But I was married once." —Logging camp cook Sonny Hoskins, from the novel... More >>

  • Laughter: A touch of the divine

    published July 15, 2009

    Laughter. There is no drug like it. No moment in life matches its charitable release. Those who provide it are like secular Mother Teresas.... More >>

  • Beware of people on pedestals

    published July 8, 2009

    He would have been a fine hero at a time when I was looking for one. He was a former Major League ballplayer in his mid-90s living alone in... More >>

  • Are women happiest at age 28?

    published July 1, 2009

    The published study would have slipped by me unnoticed if it hadn't been for the college women discussing it at an airport coffee shop. I was... More >>

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