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Weird Wants: What we're buying while in lockdown (skates! Crocs! Amish romance!)

Emily Cassel

Emily Cassel

We’re all already online shoppers, but when we can’t leave home we’ve found that we make some weird impulse buys. Some of us indulge, others get projects done, and some make awesomely ridiculous choices.

Emily Cassel, Editor-In-Chief

What weird shit are you buying these days?

I bought one (1) pair of Realtree (®) Camo Crocs (TM). The All Terrain ones.

Why?

Well, my good friend (and occasional CP contributor) Joel “Sweet Beef” Swenson has long been a Crocs evangelist, which I was always like, “Ha ha. Okay, buddy. Enjoy your clunky styrofoam sandals!” Then I started spending my entire goddamn day at home, realized I needed a good pair of house/yard shoes, and am now the kind of person who shamelessly sports these in public.

Would you have still purchased if you weren’t in lockdown?

Probably not! But I regret to inform you that Crocs are in fact good as hell. I’m one-thousand percent a convert. Actually my roommate tried them on a week or two ago and bought a pair for herself, and yesterday I found myself wishing I had a pair to keep by the front door and the back door of the house, so. Odds are pretty good we’ll be a three-pairs-of-Crocs household before long.

Promo Image

Promo Image

Shelby Lano, Layout Editor

What weird shit are you buying these days?

A skincare mini-fridge for holding my masks and facial massage tools.

Why?

Because SHOPPING IS A FEELING. Also, I haven’t been wearing makeup most days so I’ve been leaning more into my skincare routine to practice some sort of self-care and to look less rough.

Would you have still purchased this if you weren’t in lockdown?

Probably not. I’ve known about this thing for a while and thought it was pretty extra. But I’ve turned to shopping for a serotonin boost, it was Sephora’s spring sale, and in general this lockdown has been giving me a weird relationship with my face. In conclusion, I said “yes” to the tiny fridge.

Susan Du

Susan Du

Susan Du, Staff Writer

What weird shit are you buying these days?

The Amish Reckoning by Jocelyn McClay. It’s a romance novel about Samuel Shrock, an Amish Casanova, and Abigail Lapp, a spirited girl who likes horses. There’s small-town intrigue, a Lady Catherine-esque villainess, nice guys who throw themselves in harm’s way to protect children, and a smattering of Pennsylvania Dutch. Apparently Amish romance is extremely popular, particularly among fans of the sweet and chaste. Like Korean drama.

Why?

It was written by my friend’s mom. Now a group of us are discussing it for our Zoom book club. 

Would you have still purchased it if you weren’t in lockdown?

I’ve been meaning to read it for ages but kept forgetting. Quarantine seemed like the ideal time. This particular copy is from Magers & Quinn.

Sarah Brumble

Sarah Brumble

Sarah Brumble, Food Editor

What weird shit are you buying these days?

My household jointly purchased a massive fake banana plant, for which I feel like a true asshole even though it definitely goes a long way to bringing our office to life.

Then on my very own, like a big girl, I acquired these (little-kid size large) bubblegum-pink roller blades with light-up wheels. 

Why?

With no one going to work, a parking lot that’s normally filled with cars behind my place opened up into the perfect roller rink, and I thought I should get a little dumb exercise. As for the plant, my home office is getting more attention these days.... It was either this monstrosity or laying wall-to-wall astroturf. 

Would you have still purchased it if you weren’t in lockdown?

Truly debatable for both.

Sarah Brumble

Sarah Brumble

Yes, this was all one purchase.

Yes, this was all one purchase. Jessica Armbruster

Jessica Armbruster, Arts Editor

What weird shit are you buying these days? 

My answer is going to be boring AF compared to the rest here, but it’s weird just for the combination of random things: tiny batteries, a pack of colorful Bic pens, Witcher III for PS4, and a sock organizer.

Why? 

In 2018, I awoke in the night to a very loud beeping from my smoke detector, alerting me that its battery was dying. In a sleep-blind rage, I got a chair and ripped the thing out of the ceiling only to discover that it wasn’t the thing that was beeping. Turns out my apartment had another smoke detector—one that had been ripped off a wall and hidden by the previous tenant in the back of my very deep closet. Two years later, I have finally replaced the battery and reinstalled it on the wall. 

As for the others, the one pen I had in my apartment ran out of ink, I finished my last PS4 game (Assassin’s Creed Syndicate), and I was finally ready to get serious about sock organization.

Would you have still purchased this if you weren’t in lockdown? 

I would say “yes” to the pens and video game, but I probably would have continued to neglect that second smoke detector and my sock drawer if it weren’t for quarantine.