It's always exciting when Minnesotans get Oscar noms, but who needs Hollywood or Amy Adams anyway? We've got something that provides more entertainment than most of this year's films: the Uptown Theatre's marquee. Throughout the year, the folks at the south Minneapolis theater take full advantage of their customizable billboard and cinephile staff, composing irreverent ads for their otherwise serious lineup of independent films.
From puns to personal confessions, here are the top 10 marquees of 2014.
10. Palo Alto
Most of Palo Alto's hype stemmed from writer and actor James Franco, but the Uptown Theatre doesn't latch on to hype. They know that if customers are going to shell out hard-earned dollars for a movie, they want as many Kilmers as possible.
The juxtaposition of old-school marquee glamor with grandparent humor makes for a re-tweetable photo. But if you add that Ida is a meticulously shot black-and-white musing on religion and identity, you have a perfectly unsuitable slogan.
8. The Dance of Reality
This marked the return of Alejandro Jodorowsky to feature film making after 23 years coasting on cult status, so of course a Dirty Dancing line was in order.
It's about Edward Snowden. Shh.
6. The Trip to Italy
For my grandma, this is the most convincing advertisement possible.
If this isn't instantly hilarious, it's probably because you never watched the HBO show Oz, about a prison where J. K. Simmons plays a neo-Nazi. Ah.
What? She is the heroine! Nothing wrong with this one.
3. Only Lovers Left Alive
No play on words or obscure reference come to mind? Might as well go with a totally honest public confession. We could all use a little more candor in our lives.
2. The Skeleton Twins
This marquee has everything: a familiar reference, a beloved SNL character, a photo-op guaranteed to get likes and favorites, and an interesting premise for those who have never seen Stefon.
1. Bad Words
It was a tough choice between Bad Words and The Skeleton Twins, but this is too absurd to come in second. We can't help but laugh at the fact that thousands of people stopped to mull over this text, completely skipped over "frick" and "fart," and thought, "Why Kelly Clarkson?"
Did your favorite not make the list? Or do you have an all-time favorite from years ago? Feel free to share with us!